Judge — April 15, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FORCE OF HABIT. Tue, anise (entertaining some ladies and pouring tea)—"* Say when.” WHERE SHE EXCELLED. SSSAY" exclaimed the newly-married man, “Lam awfully glad you have called. I have something to show you that will prove to an old cynic like you what a’ good thing it is to have a wife. Don’t you remember how I used to hanker for a good quilted smoking. smoker's outtit? and Every Christmas and birthday I used to wish that some one thought enough of me to make me a present of them, but they never came; and now the very first year 1am married I get the whole outfit as a birthday-present from my wife, Just look at this jacket. Isn't it a beauty? And aren't these pipe and match-safes all a man could wish for?” “ Why. yes.” said the cynical friend; “ they are simply out of sight. But it seems to me that, even beautiful as they are, a bachelor could buy them for himself if he really wanted them.” “T suppose he could, but no bachelor ever does.” “ But,” persisted the cynic, “even though your wife did buy these, didn’t the bill for them come in to you?" “Of course it did; but what does that amount to when a fellow really has to pay it? What Iam thankful for is the nerve she had in tobacco-pouches Expressman Clancy's horse runs away. After dashing through several barbed-wire fences he falls forty feet intoa stone-quarry. STANAWs A -netoourne MISS MELBOURNE, ‘Australia has deserts vast and bare, ‘And wildernesses untold But her foresis are filled with flowers rare, And her desert sands with gold, In Australia's bush are cannibals wild, Who dine upon human meat But Melbourne has many a jaunty We'd be willing ourselves to ¢ buying all this stuff. Even though I had been wanting it all for the last ten years and really could afford it, I never had the nerve to go and get it all at once. I tell you what, it takes a wife to do things properly.” REAL WAR. HEN I really want a taste of war,” said Captain Chicky Mugger, invite my neighbor Grumps over for an evening and we play checkers.” * renTING vim THE BATTLE~ SCARRED mS Ga ts { PX 9 ‘A few months later Mr. Clancy turns what seemed a misfortune into great profit. comicbooks.com