Judge, 1899-03-04 · page 3 of 16
Judge — March 4, 1899 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page This page contains several separate humor pieces rather than connected political cartoons: **"A Literal Boomerang"** (top): A dialogue joke about forgetting someone's name at a social event, with the punchline involving the word "doctor." **"Definitions" and other sections**: Satirical definitions of wealth, suburbs, and social behavior—general commentary on class distinctions and hypocrisy rather than specific political targets. **"A Novel Crop"** and **"A Wholesale Sinner"**: Brief humorous anecdotes about domestic life and Sunday school, poking fun at middle-class pretension and children's behavior. **"Her Long Suit"**: A story about newlyweds and jewelry, satirizing marital dynamics and social climbing among the upper classes. The page represents Judge's typical format: miscellaneous social satire targeting Victorian-era middle and upper-class attitudes rather than specific political events or figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A LITERAL BOOMERANG. Miss SMART—"' Oh, yes; we had a lovely time at the ball, Dr. —Dr.—Dr.— oh dear, I Doctor SMvtHe (fatronisingly modest)—"* Oh, never mind ! just call me simple * doctor.’ Miss Sant (guichdy)—“Ail right, simple doctor,” (otal collapse of Smyth.) always forget your last name.” DEFINITIONS. A NOVEL CROP. Att wealth is relative and all wills stir up the relatives. ‘The modern suburb is a part of a city very much apart from it. What seems patriotism to one man may be diagnosed as prejudice by another. Home is where the heart is. That is why the summer gitl is cosmopolitan. The most uncharitable person in the world is he who regards charity simply as a covering for a multitude of sins. A reformer is a man who pleases everybody in obtaining office and pleases them still more in leav- ing it. A partisan reverses the rule and gets a re- nomination. Money is the measure of values, but if its measurements were absolutely accurate there could be no profits. Hence it becomes the yardstick of opportunities. To say that a man has made money out of pol- itics does not have the same force in law as an in- dictment by a grand jury, but the popular verdict is just about as strong. Tommy (whose mother uses the old-fashioned twisted-paper lamp-light- ers, seeing a little girl with tightly-curled hair)— Oh, mamma, there's a girl raising a whole head of lamp-lighters A WHOLESALE SINNER. ON AN IOWA GRAVESTONE. SUNDAY-scHOOL TEACHER —"* Johnnie, who do you think was the greatest of sinners ?” Jounniz—* I reckon it must have bin Moses. ERE lies the body of Nicholas Biddle, SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER—"* Moses?” Whose natural long life was cut off in the middle. Jounste —** Well, he broke the whole of the ten commandments at one clip.” —=== SS ae HER LONG SUIT. ree WHEN they returned from the bridal tour they found themselves we the embarrassed possessors of eight soup-ladles. “IT hope,” said the blushing bride to the jeweler, “that you will change these ladles, as our soup is served in the pantry. The jeweler became interest- ed, and with a knowing wink passed the ladles to the junior clerk. Wedding presents?" in- quired the face- tious clerk. “Yes,” an- swered the bride, “our sil- A HOLD-UP IN THE FAR WEST — PRETTY SOON. ver wedding.” “HE CAUGHT HIS BREATH.” comicbooks.com