Judge, 1899-02-25 · page 6 of 22
Judge — February 25, 1899 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This *Judge* magazine page contains several satirical pieces reflecting turn-of-the-century American anxieties: **"Old Friends in New Clothes"** parodies famous literary quotes, reframing them cynically—replacing "All the world's a stage" with "all the world's a-wheel" (mocking the bicycle craze), and attacking "yellow journals" (sensationalist newspapers) and the "news-paper syndicate" as purveyors of lies. **"A Boy's Second Thought"** humorously imagines a child wishing his birthday coincided with Washington's, then reconsidering—he'd rather remain young than reach 160 years old. **"A Sad State of Affairs"** depicts small-town decay: broken infrastructure, vacant buildings, scandals, and Methodist church conferences—satirizing rural American stagnation and moral decline. **"Comparatively Easy"** jokes darkly that a man drinks *more* after romantic rejection than he would have if married—suggesting marriage is worse than heartbreak. **"Too Much for Him"** shows a man fleeing a laundry, overwhelmed by domestic chaos and baking smells—gentle satire of domestic life's overwhelming nature. The page reflects *Judge's* skepticism toward progress, institutions, and modern life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OLD FRIENDS IN NEW CLOTHES. SAID in my haste all men are liars, but after due reflection I am prepared to prove it. I read the yellow journals, F Alll is not Klondike that comes from Alaska. || The path of glory Icads but to the news- | paper syndicate. Alll the world 's a-wheel and all! women merely cyclers. There is no flat like home. Some men find happiness in doing the good When doctors disagree the patient pays the bills. To the victors belong the broils. Labor conquers all things ex- cept the walking delegate. Truth is a stranger to realistic fiction. My only books were wo- men’s looks and fashion 's all they taught me. ‘The end justifies only the mean. A BOY'S SECOND THOUGHT. [F WASHINGTON'S birthday were bot mine There'd be a double celebration. Oh, cracky ! Wouldn't that be fine s é sim, To have my birthday with the nation! ao Photo. by Sarony. But then no more I'd be a boy— it SS JUDGE'S FAVORITES. A jolly boy of only eleven ; c= MKS. LESLIE CARTER AS "24 Vd be too old then to enjoy— veut peemied oo ausoresa aad ld eS Just think, one hundred and siaty- re th le of passion had serial a Pite dvtome leaves ia suntight plowing red, A SAD STATE OF AFFAIRS. SSVES,” growled the pessimistic landlord of A PHENOMENON. the Pettyville tavern, in reply to the in- OROTHY was greatly delighted one moming ‘TWity Of a recently-arrived guest. Things is in Dol ind in the Barwa back red and white oat, Pty bad shape inthis town, The roads ae in COMPARATIVELY EASY. “Ob, mamma,” she exclaimed as she rushed tuto * shameful condition from lack of repairs, the Epiti — “' They say Jack Ricketts is drink- he house." theve's’avcall ial the bara witha: calico: gasoline lamps on the corners are broken, the fire ing terribly ever since Penelope refused him. Isn't avacapars company has disbanded, an’ the clapper isout of tt SWE a thin the fire-bell; the town treasury is empty, Colonel much harder he would have drank if she had PLENTY LIKE HIM. Gripp owns the council, body an’ soul — if they marrfed him." Mrs, Crawford —" What does your husband ever had any souls—some of our best buildin’s are ive ep doriag Lent standin’ empty, sneak-thieves are at'large, there’s an epidemic of measles ragin’, there have been Mrs. Crabshaw—" \ never knew him swear off three elopements an’ an embezzlement within the last month, an’ the Methodist conference will anything except his taxes.” be here week after next. Eh-yah! . Everything ‘pears to be goin’ to staves as fast as it can.” Une Foor LAUNDRY SH ASE Soe S H —s TOO MUCH FOR HIM. “Come away, Nelly, come away! I can’t stand it no longer. The sight an’ smell o’ them cakes makes me desperit.” comicbooks.com