Judge — February 4, 1899 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUZZLE PIECES. THE young woman had re- ceived two notes at the same tithe, one from the pastor of her church asking if he might call that evening at eight o'clock to ‘talk with her upon the :salvation of her ‘immortal soul, the other from a man asking that she join a theatre-party at the same hour. Quickly she responded to the two missives, granting one request and declining the other. Now which was declined? The young woman had received two letters from the hands of the faithful postman, one addressed in the swect and dainty writing of a woman, the other in the strong, coarse Chirography ofa, man. She FELL BY THE WAYSIDE. glanced at them curiously, for Moses nimer—"* Vell, dot advertisements of Cohen's is certainly they were newand strange toher, _ in der right blace.” and then, laying ‘one aside to be read later, she opened Photo, by Halt. the other. Now JUDGE'S FAVORITES. which one did she GRACE GrORGE, open first ? A certala pant, in a cerialn “show,” : , Tiint bo obe ever voted slow, A young wo- You acted, in a certain mood z ‘That made us say," By George, she's good !” mart who was poor Hivw many envy bia ble pace. and in society had ‘Who has of late with you /owmd Grace / two suitors, one of whom was common and rich, the other cultured and poor. She tolerated the former and greatly admired the latter. Finally each of them asked her hand in marriage, and to one she gave it. Now which was the winner ? A great and successful politician had been caught between the up- per and the nether millstone of public opinion, and he was called upon to make explanations. If he answered yes to certain questions all he had gained would be lost. If he answered no he would be telling alie. Now what answer did he give? The proprietor of the great store observed two clerks with their customers. One concealed the defects in the piece of silk he was sell- ing and the customer paid the price and took it along. ‘The other called MODERN JOURNALISM. the customer's attention to the quality and the customer, with sincere AsSISTANT- gpIToR—"* What am I to put on page thirty-eight? It's almost thanks to the honest clerk, declined to purchase and went to another time to go to press.”” Epiton—"* Haven't a story of a millionaire’s son marrying a chorus-girl 7” ASSISTANT-EDITOR—"* No.” Epitor—* No startling pict- ures of microbes—or photographs of a new royal baby ?” ASSISTANT-EDITOR—"* No.” Eptror —* Well, then, go qaick and have young Fake write three columns on the latest fads. Say that New York society women are wearing rings on their toes this season — or say that the prevailing fad among women of the four hun- dred is to rub noses when they meet on the street. Mention names and give full particulars. store. After working hours the proprietor of the great store call- ed the two clerks into his private office and dismissed one of them. Now which one was sent away ? Two calls had come to the pastor of the church asking his immediate presence at the bed- side of a dying member who was the richest person in the congre- gation, the other asking that he come quickly to see a dying wo- man who had been on the charity SQUARING HIMSELF. of the church for many years. fee SOMBOUND SawLEY (in depdisgust)—"" Has it come to dis dat yer are ‘round wid a saw on yer shoulder lookin’ Responding promptly, he was fer worl Foxy Feexy (injurediy)—* Ver wrong me, pard; I'm lookin’ fer food, an’ de saw makes folks t'ink I would work, Yer S007 at the bedside of one of see, I allus avoid yards w'ot hev wood-piles, an’ wrenever I'm cornered an’ offered a job I ax so much fer me services dat no these dying persons. Now at one will hire me” which one was he? w. j. caurron, comicbooks.com