Judge — January 7, 1899 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW IT HAPPENED, Mose Mossauni * Yo say yo’ seen a bulldog wif five legs las’ night? Yo" mus’ hab bin drinkin’.” Epu Easyroost—"* Yais, I was, or I wouldn’ hab kicked him. Yo" see, on'y four ob dem legs was his own, De odder one was mine, an’ he had it in his mouth.” A PATRIOTIC PLEA. Judge—" Reilly, the charge reads that on the seven- teenth day of December you were found grossly intoxi- cated and boisterous. If I let you go this time will you take the pledge for three months?” Reilly (pleadingly)—" Mek the pledge fer two months an’ twinty-noine days, yer honor, an’ Oill soign. Shure, three months’ pledge would boind me to kape sober on+ Saint Pathrick’s day, an’ no dacint Oirishman could do thot.” NATURALLY. ECENTLY an Eighteenth-street furnished-room house had its population increased by the advent of three young men who had served in the Cuban war. Since their appear- ance the conversation in the house has been almost entirely on military topics. One of the oldest inmates says he hears of nothing but “ wars and roomers of wars. A CYNIC who is wearing his third pair of false teeth says a woman never believes anything THE NEW “CYRANO DE BERGERAC” UMBRELLA+HANDLE. her husband says to her and credits everything he tells other women, THE NEW YEAR. OVE'S harmonies flow toward him full and sweet ; Sin's wild, discordant cries are past him hurled. With sad, glad heart and brave, reluctant feet He steps upon the threshold of the world, EMMA C. DOWD, REWARD OF MERIT. E NSIGN CURTIN, who demanded the sur- render. of Ponce by tele- phone, has been getting married. He's such a brave young fellow that he deserves to get his cur- tain-lectures —if he gets them at all—by telephone too. RIGHT ON! THE past is fed with joys and tears; "Tis useless to repine. So mount the wheel of fort- une now— HER FIRST RIDE. New model, ‘ninety-nine. “Oh, this is heavinkly—perfectly heavinkly !" Vee") comicbooks.com