Judge — December 31, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOW IT HAPPENED. HE business man sat at his busy desk the week before Christmas and smiled serenely. He had just finished examining his balance-sheet for the year 1898. “At last,” he chuckled gleefully, “I find myself in a position to give my family something real nice and expensive for Christmas. I shall at once order a sealsskin sacque and pearl necklace for my wife. Little Etliel shall have the diamond ear-rings she has craved so long. Jobnny will get a new bicycle, the very best on the market, with silver handle-bars and gold fret-work ; Tom a gold watch and five-hundred- dollar St. Bernard pup; Olive that edition de luxe of ‘ American Royalty ‘—the price is only twenty-five hundred dollars; I wish it was more; Jane "—— Here he paused for a moment and again gazed carefully at the balance-sheet, to make sure he had made no mistake in the totals. No; there were the figures, plain as preaching and just about as inspiring. Net assets, as at December 15th, 1898. $564.87 Net liabilities, as at December 1sth, 1898. 109,308.25 Excess of liabilities over assets, as at December 15th, 1898. $101,743.38 Ratio of assets to liabilities, as at December ssth, 1898, } of one per cent. Joun Mupoyainn, public accountant. “ At last,” muttered the business man decisively, "I find myself in a position to give my wife and family something real nice and re- cherché for Christmas, for I shall fail the week after and compromise with my credit- ors for just one-half of one per cent.” LITTLE JOHNNIE’S BIKE, E'LL feel that he has pray- ed in vain At Santa Claus's shrine, Unless it's one without a chain ‘And model ‘ninety-nine. DREARY PROSPECT. Cobwigger—" You surely are not jealous of your baby- brother?” Freddie—" You bet lam. In a year or so that kid will be having the best of the Christmas-presents. I can ‘Now, chil'un, I s'pose you's all disapp'inted kase I's ——But ‘fore you was’e enny tears jes’ wait till I press just. finish.” got an ole cat heah ‘stead ob a Chris'mus-tree.— dis button.” bi ree Se dae EASY ECONOMY. * Shure, an’ it’s a good thing thot Chris’mus an’ Saint Pathrick’s day ain't far apart.” * Phwat fer?” ‘CALLAHAN—"* Wan evergrane.tree will do fer both.” comicbooks.com