Judge — December 31, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Schloss. LAYING THE BLAME. Miss Saintly —“ How can you spend your Christmas in such a place as Blackwell's isl- and?” \ Weary Raggles— E's ther fault of ther weather,mum, Ef I wuz livin’ in ther antipodes I'd be spendin’ et out in ther green fields.” HIS CHOICE, Mrs. Cobwigger —" What kind of a stocking would you like to have to hang up tor Christ- mas?” Freddie —“ Well, ma, I'm not particular about its being all wool, but I would like to have it a yard wide.” ANTE-MORTEM. HEN he hasn't a brake on his wheel At the top of the hill—it is said ‘That the inquest may later reveal ‘A very large break in his head. APPROPRIATE, At Koster's, and elsewhere, Such force of exuberance seldom breaks. Your top note" is thrilling, and all stand {rom under. * Rag-time” you're singing, or playing the deuce. You've assumed many parts, but the best of them all, To the taste of yours truly, is that of Jo Hall. THE MEASURE OF STELLA’S LO When * R: GHE rendered unto him all day ‘The good saint's due — praise, gratitude, FAVORITES. 've watched you with wonder— loose. Mrs. O'Donovan —" Phwy did yez give yure hoosband a rope on th’ blissid Christmas day?” Mrs. Dennis (with spirit)— “Qi belave in givin’ evin th’ divil © his due. And with such warmth I'm free to say It put me in a jealous mood, So when she came to say "*Good-night " And whispered in my willing ear, On tip-toe in her gown of white, Softly, ** I love you, papa dear,” ** You love me, but how much?” I sai ‘And after just the slightest pause She answered, pulling down my head, “*T love you more than Santy Claus!” ‘The day had been a happy one, ‘As ev'ry Christmas ought to be ; ‘There was no dearth of cheer nor fun ‘And ev'ry bell pealed merrily, Those near and dear had said ** Good-will” In more or less substantial ways, ‘And nothing in the guise of ill Had called for pity or dispraise. But Stella’s bed-time hour by far The happiest was to me, because ‘Twas then she found, my own bright star, She ‘‘loved me more than Santa Claus !* HOWARD W, BARNARD, Sim WALTER Raveic ‘Twill make a right merry yule-log. “i When it starts a-blazing and a-crackling—ah, then will be a wondrous sight !" UNDER THE MISSILE - TOE AN OSCULATORY ALTERNATIVE. Ethel —“ Mabel stood two mortal hours under the mistletoe without getting one kiss.” Mr. Bear —“‘Ah, here's a nice cozy place to turn in for my winter's nap.” Maud—"Poor thing! What did she do then?” Ethel — Started up a game of blind-man’s-buff and got in the way of everybody.” LIKE A WOMAN. HE farmer hit the hen a whack And now, as is women’s whim, Though of revenge she has no lack, ‘That hen still “lays for him.” NOT HIS BLAME. Miss Saintly—" It's a shame to see a man in such a place, Why didn’t you try to make yourself a better Christmas ?” Dusty Rhodes—* Thet’s why I'm here, mum. I wuz tryin’ to swipe a turkey when I got pinched.” “Holy Saint Cuthtert! what's that?” A CHRISTMAS EPISODE IN OLD VIRGINIA. comicbooks.com