Judge, 1898-12-24 · page 8 of 30
Judge — December 24, 1898 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical vignettes about Christmas gift-giving and social behavior, typical of Judge's humor: **"An Un-Happy Medium"**: A Black man expresses the catch-22 of poverty—if wealthy, he could fill stockings; if poor, children have no feet to hang them on. The dialect reflects period racism in humor. **"An Unbeliever"**: A boy debunks Santa by identifying him as a football player based on his hair, mocking childhood innocence. **"The Staid Citizen"**: Satirizes hypocrisy—a man breaks laws and misbehaves one day yearly (Christmas) while celebrating Santa, yet parents threaten medicine if children misbehave. **"Generous Receptacles"**: A joke about women using bloomers and bicycle boots as makeshift gift holders since high sleeves went out of fashion—commenting on women's fashion practicality. **"A Useful Present"**: Klondike prospectors exchange joke gifts; one gives patent candles that burn without flame—absurd novelty items. **"Seven Ages of Man"**: Seven illustrated vignettes depicting life stages through gift-giving contexts.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ANG Jf | AN UN-HAPPY MEDIUM. Whad yo’ mean w’en yo’ wishes we wuz eider richah er poorer ?” Mr. Bicrlock—"' Hit's dis way, E{ we wuz richah we could fill de stockins. - Ef we wuz poorer dem chilluns wouldn't hab enny toe hang up ertall.” AN UNBELIEVER. se THAT isn’t Santa Claus !" exclaimed Tommy Taddells when he caught sight of Kriss Kringle’s head at the Sun- GENEROUS RECEPTACLES. WHILE high sleeves have gone out of fashion, ‘The girls have some fine substitures ; They still can go hang up their bloomers, As well ag their bicycle- boots, the little boy's mother. “*Cause he’s a foot- ball player. 1 can tell by his hair.” A USEFUL PRES- ENT. First Klondiker— “What did you give your wife for a Christmas pres- ent?” Second Klondtker— THE STAID CITIZEN. ONE day each year he breaks all laws And paints in gorgeous hues ; “I gave her some of those He celebrates good Santa new fatent candles war- Claus ranted to burn without In fine old Santa Cruz, Jisttv—"* You'd better be good, or Santa Claus won't bring you anything for Chris'mas.” the flame freezing.” Yes ; bat if I'm good pa and ma ‘Il begin givin’ me med’cine. THE SEVEN AGES OF MAN. “ By these presents ye shall know !” comicbooks.com