Judge — December 24, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

COPYRIGHT I8BBBY ARKELL PUBLISHING COMPAKY OF NEW YORK. The palace doors are opened wide To the sprites who bear in the Christ- mas tide The glow of the day, with its joy and fun, And something for each and every one. JUVENILE HERESY. “so YOU'RE not going to take any glasses this year,” remarked Mrs. Claus. “ What is the reason ?" “I don't make Boston on my rounds any more,” replied the venerable Santa. “The children there make no hesitation whatever in affirming that I am a myth.” HIS GIFT-LIST. THE editor, poor man, has but little chance to slumber ‘When a wife and fourteen children comprise his Christmas number. UNAPPROACHABLE, Visitor—So you've got out your Christmas edition? The Morning Howl beat ye. They got their Christmas edition out three weeks ago.” Editor “Midnight Cry" —" Yes; but this edition of ours is for this year. Our last year’s Christmas edition was out a year ago.” THE AMENITIES OF PREPARATION. Mrs, Brown—" Now, Edward, you must get a lot of Christmas greens,” Mr. Brown—" What! aren't your folks coming up from the country ?” And the doors of the simpler home swing out To let them in with a welcome shout, For wherever is home the Jupce has place— It lives and laughs for the human race, HE'S A GOOD: BUTTER. “ Does goat's milk make good butter 7” “Tt'doc if it takes after the goat” Pananye Stare A merry Christmas, good lady fair, And to sprites and servants and all there are! Let us laugh at life as the world goes round, And give good will till the end is found. MAKING A DEDUCTION. se [7M GOIN’ ¢ get_a nasty little tin watch for Christmas.” “ How d’ you know?” “ Heard pa tell mat’ be sure an put a pocket in my new waist.” A SEASONED COMPLIMENT. Culler— Rather a dry way Deafby has of returning a greeting. I gave him a merry Christmas, and" — Muller—' Yes?” Culler — He said * Hey?” ICONOCLASTS. AS ONE by one they now dethrone ‘The names we love so well, We find that Santa Claus has gone To join poor William Tell. SUBSTITUTES FOR THE LATE LAMENTED. Shopper—“ Isn't it somewhat out of the ordinary to dress dolls like men and fit them with talkers that say swear- words? No child of mine should have ‘one of them.” Clerk—“ Those were not intended for children, madam, but as Christmas gifts for lonely widows.” comicbooks.com