Judge — November 5, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE WANTED TO KNOW. HE Little Zion congregation was not rich in this world’s at 7 goods. The church was a small wooden building, heat- J) ed by stoves and lighted by kerosene-lamps placed in brackets along the walls. But a time came when the members of the flock began to see the need of improve- ments. The younger members in particular objected to the scanty illumination. ‘The Baptist church across the way had a beautiful chandelier, and why should not Little Zion have one too. So the young people appealed to the pastor, and he brought the matter before the con- gregation at the next business meeting. “Lhave been requested,” he said, “‘to speak to the congregation about the purchase of a chandelier for our house’ of worship. I am sure it will only be necessary. to mention this, as you can all readily see that a hand- some chandelier would be both useful and ornamental. Now who will start a subscription for this purpose?” After waiting in vain for some one to volunteer, the pastor turned to Deacon Silas Barlow, more famil- iarly known as Uncle Si. “ Deacon Barlow,” he said, “you are the richest man in the con- gregation. Iam sure you will not refuse to give five dollars for such a praiseworthy object.” _ Uncle Si hesitated a moment, and then pulled out a huge leather wallet and extracted a five-dollar bill from its interior. “I hain’t got no objection,” he remarked, “ to givin’ five dollars to’ards gittin’ a chan- delier, but what I want to know is who's goin’ to play. the dum thing.” ISAAC ANDERSON. VICE VERSA, Purstosauavs—"‘I've got to stop drinking these glacial cocktail.” PrxroDacToopLe—"* Why $0, old snake PLesiosaurus—"' They are playing the deuce with my nerves. I keep seeing little red and green men all the time.” THE USUAL THING. | ++ JONKS is going to Klondike for the purpose of obtaining wealth enough to enable him to travel in Europe for his health.” : “Why, there isn’t anything the matter with his health, is there?” “ Not now; but there will be by the time he gets back from Klondike.” A NATIONAL EXPLOSION. Spanish tax-payer—" But we were told last spring that the United States was on the eve of dissolution; that the southern confederacy was about to be revived ; that the popu- lists were on the point of rebellion; that Coxey was ready to march into Washington, and that the Indians and Anneke Jans heirs would soon be in insurrection—in short, we were told that the American republic was about to fly to pieces.” 4 Hello; Gannie |. . What's the matter—-lont yout job?” Returned naval officer—* Well, if you had been on our ships you would have been “Yes; I got fired this morning.” safe in saying that the whole blamed vankee nation flew to pieces, if ever a country did.” ga? A STRANGE CASE. THe court—‘* But is not this prisoner—why did—ahem !—did you find it necessary to use so much force in" — THE OFFICER—* Thim injuries is silf-inflicted, yer anner, Oi seen him in the par-rk buttin’ his head agin wan lamp-posht an’ yillin’ * Well putt!" an’ thin runnin’ to another posht an’ repatin’ the operashun, an’ Oi tuk him in, though he sed he was a golf-ball, an’ had only four more holes to go.” comicbooks.com