Judge — November 5, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIROMANCY. ** I don’t believe in palmistry at all,” ** But since it is an art you understand T'd really like to have you read my hand.” She started at the unexpected blow, happy haven't the power to realize it. She said that evening when he came to call ; He scanned her rosy palm with laughing eyes And slowly answered, feigning sad surprise, “ T hope you will forgive me if I hurt Your feelings by observing you're a flirt.” Then asked coquettishly, * How do you know ?” “If you were not,” he said—' now, am I wrong ?— You would not let me-tidld your hand so long.” NRLEN CHAUNERY. “S very unfortunate, but those of us who are really>/ , APPRECIATIVE. RestruL Recax—" We're in luck, Bill. Dis comic paper w’ot some one dropped off a train is just full uv new tramp schemes fer us ter work.” A FAIR ARCHER. HE made a failure of the game, You see She's quite petite—weighs ninety pounds or so— And when she joined the group at archery She was not strong enough to bend her bow. But she has strength that may not be displayed— Iam her chosen sweetheart, and I know. She can by smile or soft hand lightly laid To every whim capricious bend her beau. A NEAT DEVICE. Jaxey Isaacs—"* Fadder, can I go out unt play?” Mr. Isaacs—" Yes, Shakey; certainly you can. Shust take dese five-cent neckties unt shtand on der corner unt sell dem two for a kavorter, unt play dot you vas Russell Sage.” SOME NEEDED INVENTIONS. BIKE-LAMP that will stay lit. A book-shelf that won't fall down. An ice-pick that will break the ice where you jab it, ‘An angler’s scales that will do the lying for the fisherman. . A servant's alarm-clock that won't wake up the members of the family. A safety-catch in a passenger elevator that will work when there is an accident. An automatic peach-basket that will make all the small peaches come to the top. A piano that will sound the same to the girl playing it as it does to the neighbors. A palatable health-food that your children will eat without being forced to do so with a stick. An adjustable ring that will fit the usual number of girls you become engaged to during the summer. An ambulance-surgeon who can tell the differ- ence between a drunken man and one with a fract- ured skull. hoy "convent, OUT OF THE SERVICE. . So YOUR engagement to the Lafayette-avenue millionaire’s daughter is off, eh?” “Yes; I've been mustered out.” ROY FARRELL GREENE. THE MATTER WITH HIM. Little Clarence— At school this afternoon, when Johnny Squanch was reciting his piece, he said, ‘ Dare to harm but one head of that poor girl's hair and the last moment shall be your next.""” Mr. Callipers —" H'm ! What caused him to get mixed up in that manner 2” Little Clarence —* Why, he has lost a front tooth, and I guess the wrong words leaked out of the hole before it was their regular turn.” SOCIETY NOTE FROM THE GOBBLE ISLANDS. “Mr. and Mrs. Umbjji will give a German this evening to a select few of their friends, at their residence on the heights.” comicbooks.com