Judge, 1898-10-22 · page 7 of 16
Judge — October 22, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous pieces satirizing early 20th-century domestic life: **"The Old Story"** mocks the perennial complaint of women who own extensive wardrobes yet claim to have "nothing to wear" when invited out—a timeless feminine stereotype the magazine presents as absurd. **"During the Elopement"** jokes about parental involvement in a young couple's secret escape, with the father literally helping by steadying the ladder—suggesting even elopements require family participation. **"His Turn at Last"** satirizes wartime sacrifice by revealing the young soldier's true motivation: he endured combat merely to finally receive the special treatment previously reserved for distinguished visitors. The piece mocks how families fawn over guests while ignoring family members. The remaining pieces contain lighter domestic humor about food complaints and typewriter correspondence. Overall, the page reflects upper-middle-class concerns (shopping, courtship, returning soldiers) typical of early 1900s satire, using gentle irony rather than sharp political critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE OLD STORY. [7 SEEMS to me that Dolly Has bonnets and gowns galore, While pretty ribbons and laces She possesses by the score. Why, there's scarcely a day that passes But that she rides to town To get the latest in bonnets, ‘And alsa the newest gown. Now to me dear Dolly always Looks everything that’s nice, ‘And I’ve never seen her wear The same gown twice ; For to-day she'll be a dainty, Coy little maid in gray, ‘And then to-morrow, in brightest red, 5 The gayest of the gay. But whenever I ask Dolly To go anywhere with me— To theatre, ball, or supper, Or perhaps a gay soirée— She never fails to answer In tones of deep despair, “Please, Jack, don't scold; but really, dear, I've nothing fit to wear.” MITA L. rurnson. Hy) caprrty DN \ OF TWO EVILS. Volunteer —“ At first we thought that nothing could be worse than the army ration.” Friend—" Well, what DURING THE ELOPEMENT, was worse?” -what’s that 7" z S ETHEL—"* Reassure yourself, dearest. It's only papa steadying the ladder for STankws > Volunteer —“ WED ys while we are descending.” we didn’t get it.” sy LVN mas HIS TURN AT LAST. HE young man who had returned from the war was the youngest of the family. ‘When he got home his father handed him the paper the first thing in the morning, his moth- er helped him first at the breakfast-table, his brother offered him a cigar, and his sister asked him if her playing on the piano annoy- ed him. In the evening he was telling of the hard times he had been through. “But I don’t mind,’' he exclaimed. “It’s worth it.” “You mean the experience was interest- ing?” said his mother. “Not exactly that. You remember when Aunt Jane, or Uncle Jeff, or the minister, or my cousin from St. Louis came to town how anxious you all were to entertain them?” f D = “Well, ever since I was a little boyI Gaz AX have been jealous of those people. I've re- \ sented the way I had to stand around and not speak till I was spoken to, and let my favorite piece of chicken go to some one else. I tell you war is a fearful thing; but, on the other hand, it's worth a.good deal to come back and be treated like company in your ‘own home.” PUT TO A NEW USE. TWAS the first letter written on a type- g wiices iat Race) bad cree HE WANTED TO KNOW. Mamma, mamma! exclaimed the little Mans, Goopr—'‘ Com 1 why don’ i See Ae like a chop 7" lady as the postman left, “I've got a letter gs. Goons: as comme | why; Soe f.You ang ef S27, deestion Leto Snorxy Sime—** Pardon me hesitancy, mum, an’ allow me ter ask you a question. Is de* that was written on the sewing-machine.” to a charitable fried-meat donation, or an offer uv work at a wood-pile?” ~ comicbooks.com