Judge — October 22, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEDITATIONS OF A BACHELOR MAID. EWARE of.the man who“confides” in a woman. He will never forgive her for it. Three things a woman should riever forget—an engagement, a promise, and train-time. The brass button off a soldier-boy’s coat is more to be desired than gold—yea, than much fine gold. ‘A woman never really begins to get interested in a man until he pays some attention to her—dearest friend. There is more than one way of getting even with a man. One way is to fall in love with him and the other is not. A patriotic paradox—The man we think of most and care for most is the one we wish furthest away—with his regiment. Bows and arrows are out of date. Cupid kills his victims now with rapid-fire guns, smoke- less powder and blue-jackets. The method of proceeding in love is exactly opposite to those followed in war—the engage- ment comes after the surrender, and the call to arms the last of all. MARGARET BYERS. HIS SUMMER GIRL. He finds her love was merely art, The mercenary thing! For while she gives him back his heart She keeps his diamond ring. THE EXCESS OF HORROR. DIVORCES ARE CHEAP. Siurxiys—" You hoboes are a happy lot. I believe you could actually laugh while looking death 4 4 RE you unmarried?” asked her latest admirer, in the face.” Hobo (scornfutly)—** While lookin’ death in the face! Why, I've acterally seen some uv de more “No,” replied she candidly; “ but in Chicago, hardened ones laugh while lookin’ a comic supplement in de face.” you know, one can become so at short notice.’ MISUNDERSTOOD. GHE entered the registry office, A maiden of forty or so, And, trembling, asked for a license In tones that were halting and slow. ** The name and address of yourself, ma‘am ; Of the other party as well." ** Jack is bis name,” said she, “sir ; With me does my loved one dwell.” Blushing, he drew up the paper, And she in astonishment read A license of marriage. “* Good gracious! It is for my poodle,” she said 7. MaLDwHn, SAFEST FOR ACTUAL USE, + SVE SHOULD not be discouraged,” observed the Spanish govern- ment official.“ We still have the nucleus of a mighty navy.” “We have?” replied the disheartened statesman, “In what respect, I'd like to know?" “Well, you see—er—er—we have , . COULDNT RISK IT. . several admirals and pleay of plens and Puorocrarner—" Great Scott, man! try and look happy and cheerful” rear Customen—""I dasn’t, This photograph is for my wife, who is away on a visit, She would come back specifications. to-morrow if T looked happy and cheerful.” comicbooks.com