Judge — October 15, 1898 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PROPOSAL. Sittin’ wid Con Magee On top av a load av hay, He winks an’ be laughs, an’ he sez to me, In his own comedherin’ way, © Wet grass is the divil, Oi'm toul’, ‘An’ as share as me name ‘s Magee You'll be afther ketching yer dith av cowl’, So you'll hov to sit on me knee.” Deludhein Con Magee! Och, Con, wid the wonderful way! D> ye moind, ye thafe, phwat ye sald to me ‘On top av the load av hay’ “ Yer fallin',” sez he wid-a cough ; * But don't be afeared in the laste. Oj'll hould ye toight, an’ ye can’t shlip off Wid me arm aroun’ yer waist.” ‘There the rogue sat shmilin’ at me. ‘Och, Oi'll niver fergit the day (i rode from the meadow wid Con Magee On top av a load av hay. * Give over an’ let me be; Oi must git down out av this.” * Well, divil an inch ye'll move,” sez he, * Unliss ye give me a kiss.” * Och, Con! will ye let me down?. Think phwat the neighbors will say. Oi've made mesilf the talk av the town On top av yure load av hay.” ~ Bedad! there's an illigant way To shtop thim,” he sez, sez he. + The divil a word will wan av thim say If you'll only be Mrs. Magee.” When a Denver sweet girl is held up for a She blushes and says she has heard ‘That kisses were all saturated with bliss, Bat she thinks such a thing is absurd. But when on her lips a fair sample is pressed ‘She seems to be floating on wings, And says, as she anchors her head on bis breast, “* How they do underestimate things !” —Denver Pest. kiss| «Did your son get home safe from Cuba?” asked the neighbor. ‘* He did better than that,”” was the answer; “he got home safe from camp."— Washington Evening Star. Angostura Bitters, pi by Dr. Siegert in South America for his private use, is the best appetizing tonic. Accept no other. If the pension-bureau is.overworked as a re- sult of the war it cannot hold Mr. Dewey re- sponsible. He preferred to. cripple Spaniards instead of Americans.—Chicago Times-Herald, Dixon—"* Biffkins seems to be enjoying the fortune his aunt left him.” Hixon—"* Why, I understand he lost it all in a wheat-deal six months ago.” Dixon—"* So he did; but it has supplied bim with never falling topic of con- versation ever since.” —Chicago News, - If you want a pleasant bev- erage and a tonic as well, Shortly the Spanish flag will entirely disap- pear from those islands. Another victory {or the single standard:—Philadelphia Times. England keeps moving up: the Nile by de- She apparently sees her way, although the cataracts have not been removed.—Balti- more American, Minnie—' Have you and Charlie agreed upon terms of peace yet?” Grace—" No}, we haven't got any further than a protocol. He brought a box of candy last night, and I told him he might come around purpose of discussing the matter. Leader. The bride blushed as vividly as possible, considering her ebony skin. ‘It is customary to kiss the bride,” said the_pale-faced clergy- man ; "bat I'll omit it on this occasion.” “*It am customary,” echoed the groom, ‘toe gib a fee; but on dis erkashun, pahson, Ah'll demit it.’ '—Philadelphia Record. West Union is an inland town, We admit it. But we call the attention of the world to the fact that it is situated on the shores of a number of. very fine watermelon-patches. — West Union Gazette. There is a case of prodigal son in Hot Springs in which the hard-working son finds every few days a fatted calf charged to his ac- count, A mother’s love seems to know no such quality as justice.—Arkansaw Thomas Cat, “That centre-fielder would go to sleep if the crowd didn’t holler at him,” said the disgusted “fan” at the ball-game. “He would, any- how,” said the home-team admirer, ‘if. the files didnot ‘bother’ him $0."—Kansas City var, ‘Eph, do you believe that the-Cubans are colored people like yourself?" ‘No, sah. Ef dey used razzers'stid ob dem dar machetes den I'd take some'stock in dat yahn."—Detroit Free Press. —Charles Quinn in Tyrone (Ireland) Consti- tution, ‘The United States is fast becoming the great grape-growing country of the world. Cook's Imperial Champagne is the best. Evans’ Stout which by reason of its ingre- dients is a natural blood-maker —not a medicine—simply a beverage tich in malt extract, a liquid food. “The essence of nature, 1M—C. H. RVANS & SONSy-188 Brewers, Maltaters and Bottlers, Hupeox, N. ¥. Upholstery. Curtains, Portidres; Table Covers in Tapestry, Velour and Silk. Furntture Coverings, Curtain Materials, plain and figured. Lace Curtains and Bed Sets, Madras and Muslin Curtains, Bed Sets and Piece Goods, Beoadooay K 96 a. NEW YORK, “You want an American movement, I sup- pose?” said the jeweler, ‘* You bet!” replied the returned soldier who had dropped in to bay a watch. “Triple expansion balance?” sug- gested the tradesman. ‘* That's right!” ex- claimed the soldier. ‘* There can't be too much expansion about it to suit me. That's the kind of American am.” Whereupon the patriotic jeweler sold him a time-piece with a highly- expanded price on it.—Chicago Tribune, ey WILLIAMS This man has neglected to HAV shave for sey- eral days. He dreads shaving now, but realizes how dis- gusting his appearance is, and feels mean and. uncomfortable. He is much distressed He gives a sigh of relief. He remembers Williams’ Shaving Stick. He applies the thick, creamy lather. His ‘‘stubby’’ beard immediately yields to its softening influence. His razor glides smoothly over his face. Shaving has lost its terrors. They'll tell you of others, but speak of none with the assurance of Abbott’s—The Original Angostura Bitters. Maine has gone Republican about as pro- fanely as usual.— Utica Observer, Whose smoke like incense doth perprme.” —Trvvs Axonom. If you smoke it in your pipe “It’s Good” “1 OUGHT TO SHAVE! Williams’ Soaps aro for sale everywhere, but if your dealer does not su ply you, we mail them—t any address—postpaid on, receipt of price. Williams’ Shavis e Mixture A eaten Smoke eovecece THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THE LIST 3 or THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., x Fiano Manufacturers Piepart Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING 'FTH AVENUE, COR, 220 STREET. 6 Round Paes al ‘THE J. B.WILLIAMS'CO.| Glastonbury, Conn., U.S.A. Lowoon: 64 Gt. Russell St. Manna TAS Srowey: 161 Clarence St. MARTINI. WHISKEY. HOLLAND Gin, Tom Gin, | wore \ TH-AND YORI VERMOUTH, AND York. allthe world. His face is soft as vel- vet, and he " experiences thesoothing, refreshing sensations — - that’ every HAVE SHAVED, man: does who uses Williams’ Shaving» Stick.” See "how happy he looks! ACocktait Must Be Covo To Be Goon: To Seave In Perrect Conoition. Pour Over Cracxeo Ice. Not Sxaven) Stir Ano Strain Or. comicbooks.com