Judge — September 10, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNUSUAL. URIOUS about that rich chap that was tried for murder,” said Uncle ‘Abner, glancing up at his wife from his paper. “Didn't the jury hang him?” asked she, “No,” replied the old man, and that's where the curious part comes in—this paper says that his lawyers succeeded in ‘ hangin’” the A DEFINITION. Mrs. McLubberty ooking up from her newspaper)—“ Phwot is an epigram ?” Mc Lubberty—* Hear thot, now! It's moighty little good yure r'adin’ is afther doin’ yez. Shure, an epi- gram is a feller thot is partickler about phwot he ates.” AN UNKNOWN ARTICLE, Racorp Rentz —‘* Yer never seen sech a surprised. man in yer life as'dat college professor wuz w’en he seen me tell de time uy day widout lookin’ at a watch.” Parcuen Pantz—"t W'ot a fool he must hev bin! Why, de only surprisin’ ting would be to see’ you tellin’ de time uv day by lookin’ at a watch.” ANOTHER FIELD OF HONOR. 46]0." ELOQUENTLY began the Spanish statesman; “Spanish honor is not yet hopelessly lost. We can yet regain it in all its primeval and medizval glory.” “ But how ?” inquired the dejected official. “ Well, in view of the results of the Levantine war last year, I am emphatically in favor of an immediate declaration of war against Greece.” NOT OF THAT ORDER. Sirpcainen. Beth (watching her grandfather remove a newly-hatched low did you come to let that young man put his arm around you 7" flock of chickens to a coop) —" How long will it take, grand- * Well, you see, I didn’t see him when he did it; my back was turned.” pa, for their hairs to branch out ? Davourer— SAMBO'S PRAYER. YO SAY it ain't no good to pray? It's coz yo’ doan pray right. Jes’ pray de way yo" oughter pray An’ pray wiv all yo’ might. Doan ase de Lawd to guv yer things, But ask him to he'p yo’, Ile’p yo", yo'se'f, to git de things, An’ he will pull yo" froo, Jes’ ask in humbleness of spit An’ yo'll git w'at yo" ask to git. I prayed myse’f fo’ free long weeks Wiv mos’ tremenjous viggah: ~ ** Lawd, sen’ a chick’n, oh, good Lawd ! To dis mos’ hungry niggah. Oh, sen’ a chick'n, Lawd, be quick !" But de good Lawd didn’ quick’n, An’ though I wrastled long in pray'r I nevah seen no chick'n, “L didn’ pray right, I wasted bref, An’ so I almos' starved to def. Le fii iy i ** Oh, sen’ a chick’n, Lawd, to me I prayed ‘wiv tears an’ plead’n’ ; “* Oh, sen’ a chick’n, Lawd, an’ heah ‘Thy servant's interced'n’.” But w'en no chick'n come I prayed, My heart wiy sorrer strick’n, ** Sen’ me, oh, sen’ dis niggah, Lawd, Oh, sen’ him fo a chick’n.” ‘ “BEd ANOTHER DECEIVER. ‘Yo eat Te aln't no" good ww pray? raertS: PATRIOT —" Help a rough rider? Most certainly ; here is some chicken, Now, what company of rough Wa-al—we had chick'n-pie nex’ day. Suck WaAtbo—"* Jay actors.an’ hobo company, mum, Dey are about de only rough-ridin’ company I was wid sam watrax vos, while ridin’ on freight-car trucks. ‘Tanks fer de chicken, mum.” men will Tnactis right wit Bitters. ize the s) “Let ily, at thr “Schley first,” sh Philade} COOK'S, COOK'S, COOK'S The sold Like And clas Am Ss is ma a real Pa Its | ing. in erties highes and h preser treatn enssecesese a ?) f io4 eo ne, eet < comicbooks.com