Judge — August 20, 1898 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN UNHAPPY PATRIOT. r-y's got me here inlisted, an’ I's: willin’ fob toe fight, Bor de cap'n he's got notions an’ he doesn’ treat me right. T's hankerin’ toe meet dem yaller Spaniards face toe face n’ scatter ’em an’ roun’ de place. But mah heart 's mos’ broke By de way de sergeant spoke. He's got me whah his ‘pinions is de law, Dese rifles make me nervous ; I could do a heap ob service Ef dey'd lemme take mah razzer toe de wah, spatter ‘em permisc’ous quints along de barrel an’ yoh shoots a mnile er $0; yoh done hit sumpin’, but how is yoh gine toe know? De oaltes' assistance dat I cares foh in a fight Is a weepin dat yoh handles close up, so's toe steer it right. ‘An’ mah heart ’s mos’ broke By de way de sergeant spoke. He's got me whah his ‘pinions is de law. But I's privileged toe mention I could stop de whole contention Ff dey'd lemme take mah razzer toe de wah. — Washington Star. Champagne as a restorer has noequal. Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Champagne is gure, deli- cious and fruity. Culture is dangerous when it reaches the point of taking a woman's mind off the things the has in the oven.—When Hobson gets back he can come to Hot Springs and have his choice if he happens to $¢e anything he:wants.— Frank Boving would: like to: know whether: it is. still legal to propose to'your best girl without affix- ing an internal-revenue stamp.— Arkansaw Thomas Cat, “ Can keep up the ** daily grind” with head or hands when Abbott’s—The Original Angostura Bitters—help. The Mademoiselle Malaprop of @ summer school of art-students affords her fellow-pupils much diversion, ‘The other morning the class was set to draw a head which, in plaster, looked more like a mummy than a human being. ** Dear me!" observed Mademoiselle Malaprop, “you might suppose it was the head of an ostracized man."—New York Evening Sun, “Ware smote like enconse doth perpume SERGE Anveon If you smoke in your pipe “It's Good” snare “THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THE LIST oF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. it is the favorite. of the artists and the refined musical publie. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers New York Wareroom: %) SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 220 STREET. She—"* You know very well, that you.had.to].. ask me three: times-before:I would consent ta! be your wife?” Hem" only goes to show that it is sometimes:possible to be too persistent:""—=Chicago News In India, China and Japan ‘Dr. Bie- GERT'S ANGOSTURA. BITTERS are well known as the most efficacious remedy for Diar- rhea and all diseases of the digestive organs./ THE NEW CHILD'S ‘| HEY-DIDDLE- Here is the poem of me; tho enteaier of cath See's eat f ing é See! it fat yeni mph ingen It plays sqnatas,. fugues, rigodons,, gavottes, gigues, minuets, romances, impromptus— it plays the tune that led to the defunction of the aged cow; But most of all it-plays nocturnes, plays them pyrotechnically, as befits the night-time, See the moon shining in:the'pellacid sky, . See! the cow, inspired iby the intoxicating strains of the Stradivarius, throws off her: habitual languor, and leaps over the moon. O me! O pulse of; my ilife! Oxamazement of things ! : Why so active, thou cow? He grins and runs through the city, Sceing humor in his surroundings. Have all dogs so keen a sense of humor? See the dish, maliciously meditative. See! it takes advantage of the general confu- | - sion and absconds with the silver spoon. —London Clarion. 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