Judge — August 6, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THEM. (meee) brainy merchant; after amassing a million dollars, retired from his labors to enjoy well-earned repose and recreation. But it was not long before his active mind was uncon- sciously seeking an occupation, and it was then that he directed his thoughts to making his will, He had seen the fortunes made by other men wasted in tedious litigation by quarrelsome heirs, and it became his ambi- tion to have a will written that could not be broken. And like every man of strong char- acter who becomes infatuated with a fad he threw himself into the work with all his. energy and without reckoning the cost. As soon as he had a will drawn by one lawyer he hired another to pick flaws in it, and for several years his average output of wills ‘was one per week. He employed the best lawyers in America and England to con- struct and attack wills for him, until at last he secured a docu- ment that seem- ed impregnable to the best fo- rensic talent of the world, “Aha!” he cried, “I have found it at last— DOUBTLESS AN IMPOSTOR. a will that can- ErHeL—"*So you don’t think that young man whom you met last night is a divinity not be broken, student, as he claimed to be 7” : 2 Dotty—"* No. When [ told him I should like to have him meet my father he said, Now I can die +ai right; where are the gloves?” feeling that aft- er I am in the ground my money will not go to the lawyers.” He then began to put his affairs in order, so as to use his model will, only to make the awful dis- covery that his money was all gone. He had wasted it in hiring the best legal talent of the world; so the lawyers simply got his money before he died instead of after. THE YELLOW OF IT. END OF THE FRIENDSHIP. Assistant editor (Morning Howl)—" How many Spaniards shall I say were killed in that last BURGLAR BILL (putting his foot in it at one battle?” a. m.)—" Waal, by gum! Jess as I wuz gettin’ ae Ra - Sot loana ene obs geet a Buguedionvas Editor—"| believe it was two hundred and four. ne fe count uv her friendly spirit in dis war dis dum Assistant editor—" Two bundred and four? Why, last evening's Hustler gave it as six hundred English bulldog hez ter shoe his beak in an’ and thirty-seven.” tos Den Bagland colomerten Begin Editor—" They did? Well, then, in our report make it eleven hundred and fifty. The people Tr'll take an hour ter pry him off wid me jimmy.” must know that as a newspaper the //usé/er isn’t in our class,” PAUL MCARTHUR, THE CAT CAME BACK. “Now, you miserable old roof-prowler ! I guess it will be a cold day when Tt was not a cold day. It was on a hot summer morning when, thanks to you darken ‘my door again.” the iceman, the cat came back. comicbooks.com