Judge — July 30, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i ea ru ny EXPOSING A HUMBUG. ean [NA recent issue the Winkleville nny! Weekly Wait offers to its read- ers an article, somewhat exceeding two columns in length, which is full of menace to the peace and happi- ness of mankind. For that reason we feel it to be our duty to utter a few simple words to the readers of that paper, lest they be led astray. The article in question declares for war in the most fervent terms. It cries for vengeance upon the earth for past insults. It points to our duty in all lands where indignity has been offered to any people not strong enough to defend them- selves. It says we have been made fat that we may go forth and be fried upon the altar of sacrifice. It speaks of blood, of tangled hair, of grinning skulls. It salutes the flag in language that would win a maid- en's heart in an hour, and breaks Quelle ial . 4 oh ‘Tue pevit—"* Where did’you say you were from?” at lan into lccaies rete Jey Stnner—"' Washington, D.C.” studded with astonishers—or, more THE DEVIL—"* Spend all of your summers there?” properly speaking, exclamation- Stnwer—"' Yes, sir.” 0 4 points. Le We be le 7 oni 5 ‘it mw ree yos,can step aside, No use wasting time boi Sea ike iad aed to kill a hen; the sight of blood sickens him. This we have on au- stanley thority that is unimpeachable. More than this, he is afraid to set a hen. He can't bear to hear the baby cry, he loves peace so. He subsists largely on vegetables brought in on subscription account, thus obtaining gentle food that has not been subjected to the cruelty of the shambles. He resigned from the village choir because he couldn't endure the warlike sentiments of the other tenor singer. He says“ Yes'm” to his wife in AN EXCLUSIVE RESORT. the same tone of voice which years ago he employed in asking his father for a penny. He incites his eldest. TWO colonial dames meet in a horse- boy to rebel against the maternal discipline. He smiles like a bab- oon at everything, whether it is funny or not, for fear he will of- fend somebody. He sobs into a little linen handkerchief at funer- ” als. He flies above his office- door a star-spangled banner that was made from an old sheet with poster-ink. We trust the readers of the Wail will think well on these things before they yield to the blandishments of the article of which we speak. Let them re- member also that “the editor. is unfit for military duty, while the editor of the opposition sheet is the captain of a military com- pany. Is it necessary'for us to say more? —pavip w, TALMADGE. car and compare notes. Mrs. Beacon—" Such a stu- pid summer on the south shore, Perfectly spoiled now; nothing but Irish there.” Mrs. Backbay—“ Too bad. The north shore was deadly too —overrun by the Irish, They are simply ubiquitous now.” At this juncture a sturdy Hibernian, shouldering her mar- ket- basket, brushes past the speakers. “i'll till yez a place where yez kin shpind nixt sum- mer—go to the divil. Yez'll foind no Oirish there.” MEN are like chewing: gum— stiff and hard to break in 1, STRONG MAN—‘'Ha! me rival, at first; afterward so soft and the rubber-necked man, is making love to. sticky one can hardly get rid of me little sweetheart. — them. chard | Will cause his chiefest , __to recoil upon the deceiver. — 5. ——The awful deed is did.” WON BY A NECK; OR, THE STRONG MAN'S REVENGE.