Judge — July 9, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

vugge CITING A SIMILE, *©*THESE here women,” said Mr. Liverby dis- gustedly, “ ‘Il sit and talk and talk and talk about the suf- frage and their rights and things, and they'll talk and talk and talk, and that's all there is to it. Why, darn it! they make me think of a—a Spanisn war.” THEATRE HATS oa T° SETTLE the hat ques- Bib” _— * tions ‘That woman's anger rouse 1, The town bully chaseth ye good boye — Just separate the sexes “Shy, EMANCIPATED. Sy To either side the house. TO BE a boy was not her fate, RRB Bot there are sundry rumors ‘ This year that she will celebrate, For she can take a match, they state, And strike it on her bloomers. ONLY TOO PLENTIFUL, Pat (meditatively) —"* Shure. it's wan useful thing in this worruld ; but we'll not want it in th’ nixt.” * Phat's thot, Pat ?” Pat—"* Fire. Gimme a light, Mike.” THE REASON. civeieuwaym 7 FILLOSOFIKAL OBSIVASHUNS. Miss Bredakere, LF ‘ - | HAV never been abel tew quite deside which haz the Mrs. Bunting (astonished) 4 most wag, a woman's tung or a dog's tale, but i think 8 For the land's sake?” woman iz a leetle abed. Mr. Bunting —“ Partly, Yung man, don't marry a fashun-plate. Sumthing in and partly for her bank ac- kalico iz likely tew prove the better investment. count.” Never tel a mother how pretty sum other woman's baby iz. It’s apt tew disturb the peace, Cheerfulness iz like sun- shine. It sort ov warms u up and makes u feel good. I hav nown a glass with a stick in it tew hav the same effect. sr wow. THE LAST FEATHER. IFE is full of trials and tribulations,” sighed old Uncle Sourby,: wagging his head dismally. “ The pathway ‘of man from the cradle to the grave is bestuck with thorns and brambles, Laughter is often choked by tears. ‘There is a large and venomous viper concealed in the glass of sparklin’ Mars. GupetHync —' wine, The honest, industrious father toils away the best years of his life to raise a son who turns out to have less ambition than a barrel of hair. “ You strain for months to pre- pare for an emergency, and then it fails to arrive. You sniff the fra- grance of a dewy blush-rose, and an unscrupulous bee stings you on the nose, The intensely interestin’ story is usually continued in our next. The NOT USED TO LUXURIES LIKE HARD.-TACK. Vhy did you have to leave the army ?* Waywarb Currpror —"* Well, you see, I was in the hospital most of the time ; the food was too ricb for me. in a boarding-house.” 1 was used to living 3. —is easily followed up to—— plum-cake of wedded bliss has dried hornets in it in the place of raisins. The comic papers are filled with great gobs of gloom The girl you love don’t love you, and the girl you can get for the askin’ the very old Harry himself wouldn't take as a gift. “1 have experienced all these trials and many, many more as I have trudged along down the pathway of life, but none of ‘em really aggravated me half so much as did the manner in which my shiftless son-in-law used to waste the axle-grease.”” ‘Tom F, MORGAN. THE BOBTAIL CUR. HLESITS and smiles upon the lad With crackers in a pail ; Well has he cause to be so glad, For some one docked his tail. A DISCOVERY. Dorothy (finding a chestnut- burr, in great astonishment)— “ My! I never knew before that porcupines laid eggs.” 4. —in these pictures, comicbooks.com