Judge — June 18, 1898 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FABLES. Goat. Y UNLUCKY fortune a of "| goat fell into a deep well from which he could not clamber out, try as oft as he would. At last hope- ful plan entered his thick skull. “I know what Pl do,” be said. “Luckily the rope and bucket are down here for me to cling to, for soon some thirsty soul will come this way, and when he draws up the bucket full of water I will cling on to the rope and ascend to THE ACRORATIC Sood boy! That'll bring ‘em in.” WHEN | WENT A-WOOING. ] LOVED an American maiden—ob, yes! A Baltimore girl, whose life was a whirl Of soirées and functions and social success. L asked for the heart of this frivolous maid, Who led me a song and dance. Oh! I really was hit, but she answered me “Niel And T left her that night for France. I next fell in love with my pretty Souzanne, ‘The frou-frou light of her petticoats white, And the ravishing face peeping out from ber an I wooed her by every endearing device, As only a lover can ; 1 was hopelessly gone, but she answered me “Non Did my le Mam'zelle Souzanne. Now Hilda I thought in all Holland most fair. Wooden bootlets she wore and a white pinafore, And little Dutch caps on her soft yellow hair. L longed for the heart of this lovable maid ; Her little Dutch heart so gay. But she didn’t want mine, for she answered me “* Nein.” In her own little sweet Dutch way. left her, resolving the one who'd agree, Whether young or antique, I would wed out of pique. When lo! a small maiden came tripping to- wards me. Her cheeks were as red as the clover in bloom. I kissed them and said, ** Love, come : You're the sweetheart I'll wed!" and she nodded ber head. Ob! I found she was deaf and dumb. ended when he heard some one above at the windlass, and at that moment he clasped the ascending bucket, regardless of the drenching he got in the effort. Slowly he began to rise, and was about to congratu- late himself upon his easy escape when he heard an imprecation, “Con- age a) 2 west SEx?Z He bad hardly found it!” cried the man at the wind- lass, “I'm not that thirsty that I shall strain my ix back lifting AT THE ART-MUSEUM, this heavy Aunt Jane—"' That is the temptation of Saint Anthony. Ain‘t it terrible 7" bucket for a Unctx’ Janez—* Yes—terrible realistic. Yer can almost hear her sayin’ she + hain’t got a thing fit ter wear, an’ him bein’ tempted ter swear.” mere drink, and stepping one side he allowed the bucket of water and its incubus to crash back down into the chilly water, “I fear I'm in for it,” groaned the goat, and was about to resign himself to despair, when a new and better idea dawned upon him, “Good,” he snorted; “'tis the only way — I must take the place of the bucket and reduce the lift to the next thirsty person that comes here to succor me.” So, by a little dalliance with the bucket he had soon unloosed it and inserted his horn in the hook that held it. Again he heard some one above at the windlass, and as he felt himself being drawn up he did further facilitate his ascension by shrewd and doughty clamberings on the well sides. Soon his head appeared above the level and he was free, much to the astonishment of his rescuer. Moral — When you get in a hole and others try to get you out, lighten their labors, lest perforce they drop you. WR COOK, BETWEEN TWO FIRES. Mr, Kernican (savagely) —"* Begorra! Oi wish Oi hod me hand on th’ man thot said no man could serve two RENA CARY MUNT, masters." * rete — “Always f over it by spring tonic tura Bitters Customer- to give a hot Silas" Ba» fas the good puts it back. ‘A mugwa acolumn to cynical in i ‘The cause Whatever Europe is th wump news The Uni Cook's Impe A conten few trump- “Spain is and you'll b No man: joke, becau After a girl it never go It's a smart mit that sh and couldn New York SE is made a real lu Pac Its kn ing, inv erties h highest and hai preservi treatme comicbooks.com