Judge — April 30, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A DEALER. “And what is your business out west, Uncle Jack? What do you deal in?” JACK (who has **loped" cast on a visit) —"* Why, I deal in Arizona Peter's faro-parlors, gal.” A BIT OF GOSSIP WITH MR. MCGARVEY. JOHNNY DOOLAN is seriously ill, Oi'm told, wid troyin to see how much wind he could hold from a boicoycle-pump widout bustin’ the pump. Mame Doolan, the sister av John, do be wearin’ bloomers outsoide, Now, whot do yez toink av thot ? “Tis mesilf thot ‘Il ni agin widout takin’ chlory Ivery pedistrian on sot Jim Mulligan ‘s got the whail faver. “ Whoop!" says he, roidin’ boy me loike the flash av a woman's oye, “ Oi'm roidin on wind.” (Thot’s the way Jim boys iverything he gits, bad ‘cess to him.) “Did yez iver moind,” says Oi to me woite, “how much the things looks loike spictacles ?” We wor lookin’ down the hill to the avenue full i hov thot,” says she, crack- “Thim girls looks loike ver saw any.” i'm not shtrates roides a whail, if she roightly understood Bridget Killy wor yt. o DAVID M, TALMADGE. kilt wid fallin’ from the safq Pani. boicoycle av her, Shure, | HIS HOBBIES. she fainted did away, and j y Perkasie —“ Whiffet comes to only whin Oi has two hobbies.” punches a hole in the bag q \ Tenspot— What are about one av the cray- : : , { they ?” ture’s whails, littin’ the i Perkasie—' Psychol- wind squirt inty the face , \ — ogy and wheeling. One av her. Thin she wor ; would scarcely think that mad. é the two go together.” Terry Donovan, bliss r him, gives a dude scorcher A SUGGESTION. two words describe both.”” a boicoycle-face the day, * Ladies, if you insist upon scrappin’ don't go about it in the ordinary vulgar way, Perkasie —“ How?” thot wor good for two by pullin’ out’hair an’ scratchin’, but let me mark you a ring on de sidewalk, an’ fight it Tenspot—" Cycle wall’ doctheris’. ‘out zs ordin’ to de Queensbury rules. No Spanish rules go here. See?" logical.” Tenspot —" And yet * Say, Dusty Roads, what would you do if you had a million dollars 7” “Do! What would Ido? Doggone it. I'd buy this blank, blank railroad, and fire the blame fresh brakeman that put us off in this hole.” comicbooks.com