Judge, 1898-04-30 · page 6 of 20
Judge — April 30, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the bicycle craze and "New Woman" of the 1890s through several pieces: **"A Bicycle-Race"**: A poem mocking courtship rituals—a woman deliberately loses a race to her suitor, Tom, to secure marriage, suggesting women strategically underperform to win husbands. **"A Minute with Miss Sprockits"**: Mocks bicycling enthusiasts using mechanical language ("crank-hanger," "friction") to describe a social outing, satirizing how bike culture permeated genteel society conversation. **"Saving the Day"**: A military satire imagining bicycles as weaponry—an enemy "bicycle-corps" is defeated by scattering tacks, ridiculing contemporary anxieties about technology and military innovation. **"Those Bloomer Girls"**: References women wearing bloomers (practical cycling attire), with a pun on "breath came in short pants"—mocking both the garment and the social scandal of women in trousers. **"A Reasonable Request"**: An ethnic joke featuring Irish characters (Doolan, Horan) in a street fight, typical of period humor. The page reflects upper-class anxiety about bicycles as agents of social change, particularly women's independence and fashion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A BICYCLE-RACE, RODE my new bike home last week ; I knew ‘twould Tom surprise ; 1 felt s0 good I could not speak ‘And joy shone in my eyes. = i And yesterday we had our race, The happiest in my life; For if be won he might embrace And claim me as his wife. The start was made; I held the lead, But, when the goal in sight, I prudently slowed in my steed And let Tom win the fight. ee iz A MINUTE WITH MISS SPROCKITS. E HAD alovely lunch yesterday. We wheeled out to Farmby’s, you know, and Mrs. Farm- by—the dear, good soul !—invited us to stay and eat. Oh, it was lovely! Chicken, ‘ninety-eight model; big baked potatoes that it just seemed a shame to puncture, but oh, weren't they good! Bread and butter that reduced the friction of eating to a minimum; milk, cold- drawn, seamless; olives, hardened in oil to spring temper; pie, flaky frame, luscious apple tubing, re-enforced with nutmeg connections. Oh, it was all just too good! Well, good-bye, dear; I must go down to Wheeler's and see the new crank-hanger he’s just got. What? Oh, yes; I'll be careful. Afraid of acrank-hanger? The idea! How foolish! Good-bye. SAVING THE DAY. N AIDE-DE-CAMP rode hurriedly to the general's side and gasped, “General, the enemy's bicycle-corps is preparing to charge.” “Ah,” replied the general with great satisfaction, “ now we have an opportunity to see what our tack-throwing mortars can do, Let them open fire at once.” In three minutes the intervening ground was strewn with tacks, and the attacking corps was obliged to retreat in confusion, The day was saved. ‘An’ how may Oi favor yez, Doolan?” Dootan—"* Give me a punch an th’ soide av me jaw opposite phwere yez gev me th’ kick an’ koindly shtraighten out me face, lolie a good felly. * A REASONABLE REQUEST. after the fight)—"* Oi acknowledge mesilf as much licked as th’ Spanyurds, Horan. Now will yez do me a favor?” THOSE BLOOMER GIRLS, Mamma (aghast)—** Ob! that bloomer girl scared me so she almost took my breath away.” Torriz—" Now I know what you mean when you say * your breath came in short pants,’” comicbooks.com