Judge — April 23, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AN OLD TOPER. Old Mr. Cucumber has drunk so much vinegar that he is nothing more nor less than a living pickle. A UNIQUE SPECIMEN, LIVING skFLETON—"* They say that new freak gets five hundred a week. What is he?” ARMLESS MAN—" He's a deaf-and-dumb prize-fighter.” PRECAUTIONS. 6 sVES,” said Mrs. Clifton, discussing with her friend the evils of contaminated supplies; “we did have a well of nice cold water in the yard, but were afraid of surface drainage and had it bricked up. We used a variety of filters for the city water, but discarded them all. Then we tried the different springs, but at last decided that the only water really fit for drinking is distilled water— especially for the children, We have to be so careful of Willie.” “ Where is your little boy?” “Willie? He can’t be far. He hardly ever leaves the front yard, There he is now, Why, Willie! where have you been, and where did this mud come from?” “Tran after the ice-team,” replied Willie, “and the nice man who always sceoUNTED FOR: gives me the scrapings from the bottom of the wagon wasn’t there; but I found Lawyer BANKs—" De Cree, I saw a man to-day who had just got Piece on the walk, only I slipped on another piece and feli, and I'm back from Alaska with ten thousand dollars in gold strapped about his awfully thirsty, mamma. Please give me a drink.” waist.” De Crez—"* Why dida’t he carry it in his pockets?” “ Willie Clifton,” said his mother with a sudden revulsion of ideas; “ Willie Lawyer Banks—" I guess his wife was with him.” Clifton, just step to the kitchen faucet and help yourself. KATHRINE GROSJEAN. AN APRIL CAMEO. NOW the drayman, big, ungainly, Whirls headforemost down the stoop, Picturesquely and profanely Whooping with a mighty whoop. In his swift flight like a fillet Flaps the oriental rug Orer the looking-glass and skillet, Statuette and china jug. Hugging all this load of chattels In his mad, impassioned flight, Gramercy he bangs and rattles Down the steps with woe bedight. Oh, he turns a wild fip-laplet— Victory, all smiling now, Pats her ripe and rosy chaplet On his proud and manly brow. Like a cavalier, wild, dashing, He displays a lordly pride That e’en to the boiler-smashing, Rampant plumber is denied. a MonerrPRiC: : A LARGE RURAL SUPPLY. MERE humanity is often mistak- Jort. (fettishls)—"* I've got a little money saved up, dad, an’ I feel as if I would like tew go tew York an’ sce some en for kind-heartedness and reat freaks an’ wonders, . Paxnnt (thougAt/ully)—"* Stay right tew hum an’ save yer money, boy. Yew kin see plenty o' them right here in curiosity for interest. Podunk,” comicbooks.com