Judge — April 23, 1898 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wealthy father—* Young man, my daugh- ells me you love her, Do you wish to her?’ Suitor (significantly)—"* Well, L t I'd see what you had to say on the sub- first, sit." —PAiladelphia North American, His eyes shone wild. He babbled on Like one with spectres haunted, By chance he'd taken a reference-book And found just what he wanted — Washington Star. ** Why do you call it a South Dakota novel ?” ‘* Because it is thoroughly up to date and ends with the statement, ‘And so they were divorced and lived happily ever afterward,"—Chicago Evening Post. The subject for discussion at the meeting yesterday of New Yorks rainy-day club was “Altruism in home organization and society.” Just what that has to do with skirts eight inches above the boot-tops remains to be explained. — Boston Globe. “ My wife cast some bread on the waters once,” remarked the young man reluctantl ** Did it ever return?” asked the other. “* No, was the reply. ‘It sank."—Brooklyn Life. y Mrs, Greymair—* When 1 die T want you to engrave on my tomb, ‘There is quiet in heaven.’ Afr, Greymair—"" 1 think, my dear, it would be more to the point to make it * There was quiet in heaven.’ "— Cincinnati Enquirer, If a girl can keep her friends during her periods of infatuation over a man she need not fear of losing them if she should have the small- pox.—No one likes to be told that he is looking ect health for the reason that it is a con- dition which admits absolutely of no sympathy. —Arkansaw Thomas Cat hen going away take a bottle of the gen- imported Dr. Siegert's Angostura Bitters you, Neutralizes impurities in water. ‘her (of juvenile class)—"* Johnnie, what first thing the puritans did when they ed at Plymouth rock?" _Johnnie—"* They ‘upon their knees." Teacher —" That's . Johnnie. Now, Tommy, what was the ‘thing they did?” Zommy—" Fell upon sborigines.""—Chicago News. Good for your friends, your enemies, your own melancholy moods. "Abbott's Angostura Bitters. Richard,” asked the teacher, “what was the message General Sheridan sent to General Early before this battle took place?” He replied the big boy with the bad eye, , Early, and avoid the rush.’ And merely for this she kept him in after school — Chicago Tribune. No hotel-larder is complete without a stock of Cook's Imperial Champagne. Always keep it for your guests. Little Edvward— Papa, what is an agnos- tic?” Papa—* Your mamima is an agnostic. | suppose," said Mr. Frankstown as he handed a dime to a tramp, that you find peo- ple more willing to give now than they were car ago, when times were much harder?" replied the tramp, ‘*you will y believe it, but the return of prosperity is very hard on us.” ‘How can that be?” They offer us work now. A year‘ago they Pittsburg Chronicle. Telegraph. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. 2sc. a Bundle, xo in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 26. H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. THE AMERICAN TOBACCO Ci THE CELEBRATED SOHMER HEADS THE LIST oF THE HIGHEST GRADE PIANOS. It is the favorite of the artists and the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers ‘New York Warerooms, SOHMER BUILDING FIFTH AVENUE, COR. 2: cor. 220 | STREET. te Proper Scarves FOR WELL DRESSED MEN my dear. When I come home at night and tell her what I have been doing she doesn’t exactly disbelieve—she just doesn’t know." — Cleveland Leader, Blow ye winds as they may, it makes no difference to ithe man on a yacht supplied with Evans’ Ale, the only ale that is Always Ready for use—in a gale just the same as in a calm, The omy ale without sediment. The onty ale that cannot spoil, Any dealer will supply it. According to Susan B. Anthony, man is * woman's natural enemy.” Was Susan B. An- thony ever held by the enemy ?—A /bany Argus, EARL S LINEN & WILSON'S LLARS Nell—" Did you ever notice that prudish, goody-goody people are generally thin?” Belle s. There's Miss Seintley; her hand 's so thin you can see through it.” Ne//—" Don't say?’ Belle—"*At least she can. She held it over her face all the time wiile she stood in front of a nude picture at the art exhibition to- '— Philadelphia Record. EU TATTTTTTTDCUTUET S URBANA WINE COMPANY Champagne } For Sale by leading Wine Dealers and Grocers. Post-Office: URBANA, N. Y. | doer rene dea a IT PAYS roe’ A WRITER (Journalists und auiuots win MoD. ey, fame and power. Men and () omen can quality themselves fo ractical literary work during i sure hours. tical gratning 10 reporting, editing and story wrii at home. JOURNALISM ao Scar. ‘Thorough knowledge of newspaper work. Actual experience from the start. Corps of instructors com posea Wot eminent journalists, An instruc tive book, giving full details, ‘mailed free ‘The United States Government Chemists in a careful exami- nation of the leading Malt Extracts of the world, found Pabst Malt Extract, The “Best” Tonic to be the ONLY Malt Extract absolutely Pure and Perfect. ‘The name PABST on every cork. At Druggists. Pahst MaItExtract Tre’ ‘Best Tonic ‘THE PRUDENTIAL » 1897 Made Maanijficent Gains en, chet) Department of Its Business STRENGTH OF GIGKALTAR Premivine papabie Peary, Assets Increased to $23,984,569.72 Income Increased to $15,580,764.65 Surplus Increased to $5,240,118.36 Insurance in Force Increased to $363,117,590.00 15, tS Re paritewtar, THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE CO. OF AMERICA’ JOHN F. DRYDEN, President. ‘Home Office: NEWARK, N, J. comicbooks.com