Judge — April 9, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage THIS IS VERY TRUE. ‘THERE is one thing which may be said about Easter eggs,” remarked Gilgal. “Say it," replied Ricketts. “ They are not as fresh as they are painted.” BY A BACHELOR MAID. WOMAN poses — and man proposes. One vice men get enough of—advice. Two women can keep a secret — when one of them is dead. A girl never really cares for a man until she gives him some advice. The three most uncertain things in the world—a woman, the weather, and a race. Every man thinks every woman would marry if she could, and that she would pre- fer him, There are two things women are supposed to jump at—a mouse and an offer of marriage. A man thinks a woman is in love with him if she lets him kiss her; a woman thinks he loves her if he does so, A man will spend three dollars for a box of cigars and then laugh ata girl for buying a five-cent package of chewing-gum. Cherubim and seraphim and all the glorious company of heaven are not to be compared to the man who for the first time wears a silk hat. When the man who has gone to the theatre by himself sees his sweet- heart come in with the other fellow he realizes at once that he is not the only trump in the deck. Photo. by Falk. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. ANNIE IRISH AS MADAME ROBERT IN “A VIRGINIA COURTSHIP.” We had surmised you fair, we knew you clever, rose of talent blossoming sedately; Yet.all the splendor of your gifts had never Suspected, or had seen combined but lately. \ pretty role, ‘tis true— be so charming, but for you" MARGUERITE. HOW, INDEED! A INQUIRING four-year-old, hearing the, to her, new word unhitched applied to a horse and cart, asked its meaning. The next day she saw a funeral and was told that when a person died God took care of the soul, and friends of the body. “ Yes,” she eagerly asked; “but how does God get them unhitched ?” HIS WINTER SPECIALTY. Farmer Greene —‘‘ Funny, hens don't feel like setting in winter, ain't it?” Mrs. Gree sensible hen an’ a lai , good-fer-nothin’ man that don’t want ter do mothin’ else but se¢ all winter.” A DECIDED ULTIMATUM. Mr. Zenra (afianced, persuasively)—"* I hab news fo' yo’, deary. Parson Wheezer hab been taken berry ill, an’ as he am de only cuilud ministah roun’ yer would yo’ hab objeckshuns toe a white ministah po'formin’ de cerrymony ?” Miss Fresco (/reesing/y)—* Two objeckshuns, sah, De fust am, ministers am expected toe kiss de bride, an’ I won't be contaminated by no white man’s kiss ; de second, dat Parson Wheezer cain’t afford toe lose de fifty cents yo'd gib him fo’ de marriage-fee. We'll wait fo’ him ; dats what we'll do. *Wa-al, probably yew think so— but thar’s a plaguey sight 0° difference between a good RAISED A RACKET. Mr, Feank BaLL—“ What's the matter, Jin?” Mr. Jit BALt— “Oh, Mr. Racket is such a high-strung fellow that he gave me the bounce a few minutes ago.” TIM MURPHY’S FLYIN’ BALLOON. WEIN Tim Marphy war out av a job He invinted a flyin’-balloon, An’ he sailed away—that's what they say— For a trip to the land av the moon. He sailed and sailed away— Iver so fur, to the stars, An’ he sint t “* I'm ditchin’ canals in Mars !"” They wur plinty av work to do, But ditchin’ is hard, they say ; ‘An’ terrible soon in his flyin'-balloon He sailed an’ sailed away. He had worked at the jeweler’s trade, An’ could wind a watch, with springs, An’ he sint this word—that ** I'm in Saturn, rivetin’ rings !" ‘They war plinty ay work to do, But tejious it wur, they say 3 An’ terrible soon in his flyin’. balloon Tim sailed away—away, He had worked at the fireman's trade, An’ a Limerick engine could run, An’ he sint this word—that's what they heard— “I've a fireman's job in the sun !” ‘They wur plinty av work to do, But firin’ 's hot, they say; An’ terrible soon in his fl . __ Tim sailed away—away, Te sailed away to the world, An’ kiss wife, sez he, “In their hivenly line the stars is fine, But—home an’ the world for me!” YRANK L, STANTON, balloon comicbooks.com rord—that's what they heard— +hat they heard—