Judge, 1898-03-26 · page 4 of 16
Judge — March 26, 1898 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Judge Magazine Page 198 This page contains several unrelated humor pieces typical of early Judge magazine: **"A Story with a Moral"** depicts a boy killing a singing bird. A farmer then lectures him about the moral wrong of the act and its consequences for his soul. The moral appears straightforward: don't harm innocent creatures. **"Saint Patrick's Dilemma"** references the legend of Saint Patrick driving snakes from Ireland, questioning how he could accomplish this when snakes were already extinct there—a playful logical contradiction. **"A New Interpretation"** and **"A Soft Snap"** are brief joke exchanges about conscience and marriage proposal mishaps. **"A Genuine Surprise"** shows a three-panel comic about someone discovering an unauthorized tent in the snow—appears to be a camping/wilderness humor piece. The page is primarily light satirical humor rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
498 uae A STORY WITH A MORAL, AN INNOCENT young bird sat whistling a song of thanksgiving to its Creator in the sunny corner of a wayside fence. A thoughtless urchin, passing by upon his way to school, heard the liquid anthem, and, acting upon a sudden impulse, picked up a stone, and throwing it at the bird struck it fairly upon its puls- ing breast and stilled its melody and its life forever. ‘A good old farmer who had witnessed the act hastened to the lad and placing one hand gently upon his shoulder raised the bruised and bleeding birdling with the other and said, “My boy, don’t you know that it was wrong for you to take the life of this bird—that it was a crime in have seriously jeopardized your chances of heaven by doing so?” “No, sir,” said the boy as he gazed rue- fully at the poor inanimate form, while a pen- itent tear started from his eye and trickled slowly down his sunburned face. “ But it was,” said the good old farmer, “and I will tell you why. In the first place this isn’t your land ; in the second place this wasn’t your bird, and in the third place the law isn’t off on birds until the fifteenth of the month, and this is only the fourteenth.” ‘And then, to make the moral more lastingly impressive, the good old farmer appropriated the bird to himself and ate it that night for his supper. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. * MARIE. DENBI. Whenever you smlie on us, fair Marie, We are sure of a moment of spring-like glee; And that moment's impression, with all its grace, ‘Asa memory photograph leaves its trace. Wherever you are, and wherever you go, May life's full houses greet you, with Bowers to throw. SAINT PATRICK’S DILEMMA. THAT the truth of this legend is open to doubt Is a fact that is readily seen ; How could a good Irishman drive the snakes out When most of the serpents were green? A NEW INTERPRETATION, Teacher —* And what does it mean to have a conscience void of offense ?” _ Willie — Please, ma'am, it’s one that’s never had anything built round it, or else it's rotted down.” A GENUINE SURPRISE. Kionpike * Hallo! There's the smallest tent I've seen in the diggin’s. As it seems to be inhabited I guess I'll knock —— the eyes of the Almighty, and that you. and see who owns the fire in there.” NATURALLY SCARED. They say a man is always scared when he Yes? especially if he proposes something like cham- pagne and oysters.” A SOFT SNAP. CHILLY BLAINE —"* W'ot's de softes’ snap yer ever struck ?” Frozen Foote —“ A toothless bull-dog.” ¥ ae = Zz “ke Z THE occuraNT OF THE TENT (a second Jater) —‘* Mornin’, stranger, Derned cold, ain’t it ”” comicbooks.com