Judge — February 19, 1898 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S FABLES. THE JAY AND THE JAIL-DIRDS, JAY, once venturing into a metropolitan misfit-clothing resort, found there at rea- sonable rentals a tempting array of Fifth-avenue pea- cock = feathers which had fallen from the aforesaid peacocks upon the day they had backed the wrong equine quadruped. Array- ing himself carefully in these fine feathers, he strutted down Fifth avenue. Seeing that he attracted no particu- lar admiration on this boule- vard, he resolved to strut among lowlier birds, who would have more apprecia- tion of his fine feathers, and so went to the Bowery. He had not gone far before he was approached by a couple of birds who showed the req- uisite admiration for his fine feathers, and in undue haste rushed him up a blind alley and stripped the poor jay of them and flew off with his borrowed plumes. He could do no better than go back to the other jays, who had been buying Klondike nug- gets at sacrifices; but they, + upon seeing him in his plight and undergarments, were wroth at the outcome of his vanity and told him to go to. And he went, and as he went he moralized, “The jay who fools a jail-bird is a cuckoo.” TOO MANY COOKS. + +}OW does it happen, Davie, that you haven't finished your work?” “Why, you see, pop. th’ was' > UPP R-CUTS, nagur an iligant batin Marty MeMANus—" Vi i'm t’ be chated av th’ honor av thim, ‘on him, bedad ! a | | AN EXTEMPORANEOUS FAILURE. | Teacuen (after the cherry-tree story)—"And now, je {ter George Washington had ! confessed to his father that he had cut down the noble cherry-tree why did not his father chastise him ? o Ciimmty—"Ah, teacher, T suppose dat it might hev bin de kid’s birt'day, an’ de ol’ bloke went soft on de circumstance, an'"—— (And that was where Chimmy got what George Washington didn't.) door, and it fits your coat exactly JNCLE, BeN—"" Hit probes dat de coat am youahs, NEKVE. Farmer—"I found this piece of coat-tail hanging to my chicken-coop Now what does that prove?” ney (astonished —"An’ phwy is it do yez be chryin’, Marty? Troth, yez gev th’ . Moikey, I_gev him two foine black eyes; but, d'ye moind, Shure (s06), th’ coon 's so black they'll niver show NO FAIR CHANCE. URING thunder-storm this past summer Donald,aged seven, was told to remem- ber God watched over him and would not let him be harmed. “That's all very well,” retorted the embryo man; “but in such a storm as this God hasn't time. to think of little boys.” A NEW AILMENT. Physician — What did you say was the mat- ter with your husband, Mrs. Parvenu?” Mrs. Parvenu—"\ don't know exactly, doce tor; but he acts as if he had a veriscope vein a. severe RARITY of happening makes a circumstance an event. I foun’ hit in de road THE BIRTHDAY OF LOVE. 0 WAKEN Dawn one jour- neyed east With wingéd sandals shod : He bore a message far across ‘The slumbering, dew-wet ‘sod— A message most divinely fair And for her ear alone. Fast flew the herald morning- ward, By starry breezes blown, He found her at the edge of ht, i Just waking from a dream. One moment more and every star Would quench its silver beam. He whispered in her waiting ear; Her answer was a smile, Aglance reflected from the light * "In Phosphor's radiant isle. Was ever morn more beautiful ? Was ever day more bright ? What glorious sunshine aure- oled Farth’s temple of delight ! What pomp, what state, when Dawn obeyed ‘The mandate from above And with most gorgeous splen- dor decked The natal day of love! CLAwANCE any A BLACK-AND-TAN. comicbooks.com