Judge — February 19, 1898 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Vigge THEIR OCCUPATION, WIEN lovers spend the even ing This programme is the rule: The fair maid plays the banjo, The young man plays the fool CONDITIONS AGAINST HIM. Woman—" You're about as shiftless-looking a man as I have ever seen.” Tramp —* Well, ma'am, with flour fifty dollars a barrel up in the Klondike you can’t ex- pect me to dress in broadcloth.” HER REPLY. OF ALL THEIR TROUBL - Il, we've got to leave.” Sapsmita—' Jon't care; I never liked the place.” rawther—aw—dense; What's the matter with it?" "oo many fruit-trees.”” Sissington— 1 don't know, } : at makes you say that ?” Sapsmith—“ Why, when | awsked her lawst night if I might be her valentine she never saw the pretty sentiment of the question at all. No, bah Jawve! She replied that she didn’t care for comic valentines.” WHAT IT COST TO ZL/VE. Erte Centrat—" Confidentially, Tom, how much does it cost you a year to live?” Tom Ticker—"* Well, my life-insurance premiums come to about two hundred dollar: j THE FIRST ATTEMPT OF THE BLUEDEN: RABBITS WITH A NITZZEN BROTHERS TO HUNT ERRET, HIS POINT OF VIEW. 4+ PAP.” said young Lafe Sogback, who had just returned from the county seat, “I heered a drummer readin’ an item in a newspaper about a couple of niggers bein'lynchedSumwhurs up north.” “Thar!” triumphantly exclaimed his father, “I've said all along that the north would git civil- ized after a while.” THE WRONG WAY. Jasper—"\ bear that Hustle has had a bad row with his wife.” Summ puppe—" What caused “*Aber, I poot der verret in dis hole und you keeb your vace by der odder und vatch. Ven you seen der rabid coming you quick pud der bag vere he runs in it, — sper —"He got in a hurry the other ight and fed the baby with a funnel.” MAIL, DOROTHY, who had been to the museum, on being ask- ed what she most en- joyed seeing, exclaim- ed, “The shell that a man used to live in.” MUTUAL. Acquaintance — “So your master has married again, Bridget, and you have a new mistress?” Bridget — Yes'm. We have been break- ing each other in.” —Vat! didn’t you seen id? Vat ist!— TIT FOR TAT. NEVER read my jokes to Brown, Although he asks me to, ‘tis true He would not greet them with a frown— He's in the fanny business too— But if T did, why then, you see, He'd read his horrid jokes to me LESSON IN GENDER. Nan (in great perplexity) —Ican't find a single thing about a feminine gander. I know teacher must be wrong.” — Ach, blitzen ! I neffer saw such a sportsmanship. You bedder quit der peesniss.” comicbooks.com