Judge — January 29, 1898 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A NOBLE RESOLVE. ss Borner life!" Cried Lord Cleenbustid Noole “Til double up with a blooming wife With a fat bank-book and a beodle. So fare ye well, ol-bachelor boy ; T respond to me debts. “Tis duty To find and pluck the nobleman’; joy, ‘The blooming American beauty.” this blooming «ingle NOT QUITE SO Bab. Mrs. Newcomb (speakiny: of her nephew, whose mother died when he was a baby)—* Poor caild! he never knew a mother’s love.” Bridget—"An’ did she die ba- i foore he was born, mum?” | DESERVING OF SYMPATHY, ANYWAY, THE child seemed to be suffering. Her little Lack was bent, and she was moving slowly at a gait : midway between walking and crawling. “Are you hurt, my d sked a sympathetic gentleman, reaching toward her. TAKEN AT HIS WORD. “You jes’ get your hands off!” snapped the cherub. “I've busted a button—that’s what's the matter.” eRsTONR—"'T tink your daughter vas vorth her veight in gold.” une (Aastily)—"* Vell, you gan have her at dot price, den, mit feefty per cent. off MORE ACCEPTABLE NOW. Se THE theory that the employments of persons in this world will be contin- ued in the next is more acceptable now than it was before bicycling became so general.” * How do you make that out?” “It applies so fittingly to the scorcher.” THE MIDDLE CLASS. Soce TY is just like a pie, And clearly the likeness can be seen— There's the upper crust and the lower crust, While the real substance lies between. RIVAL PEACHES. Miss Keedick— \ read of a peach which in Tennessee and weighed a pound Mr. Spatts—"That isn’t such a very big peach, Miss Keedick. BACK FROM KLONDIK baits Sah a Oh, fatver ! don’t order pie for breakfast.” aes aa Tue OLD MAN (reassuring/y)—"' Pshaw, now, carter! don’t git skeart, ‘cause we've got money ernuff Mr, Spatts— ter hev it six times a day ef we want it.” much more than that.” tie? . indeed. You weigh Miss pe Porqui CURBSTONE DENTISTRY. Toornacue BrowN—" Well, I'm blowed! 1 thought when I got that Urcwun (tho couldn't allow such a golden opportunity to slip)—'* Shine, string tied around that confounded aching tooth I'd hive nerve enough to pull." boss?" comicbooks.com