Judge, 1898-01-29 · page 3 of 16
Judge — January 29, 1898 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 69 of Judge Magazine: Analysis This page contains several unrelated satirical items typical of Judge's format: **Top cartoon**: Shows travelers with a cart, satirizing incomprehensible accents and regional dialects ("red varmint," "harbor in Sarsens"). The humor relies on Scottish and Irish brogue stereotypes common to period humor. **"When Jilted"**: A poem about romantic rejection, using flowery Victorian language to mock melodramatic responses to heartbreak. **Side items**: Brief satirical observations on human nature—"Absence," "A Distinction" (about punctuation), "Lovely Woman" (about forgetting a lover)—each a paragraph-long joke. **Bottom section**: Three cartoon vignettes with captions about everyday situations, appearing to mock social behaviors rather than specific political figures or events. The page exemplifies Judge's miscellaneous humor format: no overarching political narrative, instead offering scattered social commentary through poetry, short jokes, and illustrated gags.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Je Je WHEN JILTED, WIUEN pretty pouting lips say no To all your earnest pleading Don't go and plunge yourself in woe, Or change the life you're leading ; For other maids there areas fair, With eyes as blue and lips as rare, As she who drives you to despair And sets your heart a-bleed- ing. ‘Then banish all despondency And dire foreboding smother, And seek them out where’er they be And straightway woo another! ‘Tho’ love's a fashion somewhat old, * Yet women’s hearts are not all cold, And when the tale is truly told ‘One maid's as good as other. JOSEPHINE ALLEN, THE WORST, Rachel (seeing a spotted panther at the circus) Gracious! he’s got the bi gest measles I ever saw. ‘* Efferybody laughs ad me ven I go oud mit dot dog." — Jo (the Klondike overlander)—"* Heigh! keep away from th’ hubs of this cart, ye red varmint. eaRY RuODES (partner in harness)—"" What was he after, Jo? u Jo—"*Axle-grease, of course ; it's one o' them Injuns’ faverite delicacies, durn ‘em !" THERE'S NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTES. ROMANCE AND REALITY, What is to be the title of your graduation essay * Beyond the Alps lies Italy." What's the title of yours?” Beyond the altar lies the washtub.’” First CoLLrcr-cirt—" SECOND coLt FIRST COLLEGE. HE MADE A CHANGE IN NATURE. ——"' Dot's right ; pall hard, Louise," D'ye hear?” S© ABSENCE makes the A heart grow fonder” Sounds all right, but ‘tis not buman ; Too long absence makes us fonder— Fonder of another woman, A DISTINCTION. Mamma (to Tommy, who is taking his first. les- son in reading) —“ What's the difference between a comma and a period >” Tommy —" A comma, mamma, is a dot with a tail hanging to it, while a period is just a plain dot.” LOVELY WOMAN, 2 WERE friends until “Until when?” “ Until the day she hap- pened to see me coming home in the rain with no umbrella and my new hat ruined. Since then I can’t bear her.” good —"" How's dis for shtyle mit a greyhound 7" comicbooks.com