Judge — January 29, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ape PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CAMADA 1M AD Ore copy, one year, or $3 numbers One copy, six months, of 26 numbers = 3-50 One copy, for thineen weeks =o => 135 ncluding the Cuatsraas Jusct —Te alt Soreign countries in the postal union, $6.00 ‘a year, . THE ARKELL PUBLISHING COMPANY (juoct Buitoisc), Corner Fitth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. EBr-Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. EB™ NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copyright in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 wit! be given to the contestant In JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. ‘THE BEST THING a champion prize-fighter ever said—"I have noth- ing to say.” [7 JS THE OPINION of the powers that they, too, are ruined by cheap Chinese labor. PRINCE HENRY is the power behind the throne infinitely smaller except as to speech-making than the throne itself. HE MAN who went crazy over golf would probably have suffered from delirium tremens if he had been addicted to cold tea. THE FACT that Mrs. Daisy Violet Flower of Missouri has been sued for divorce is not evidence that a rose with her name would be as wholesome. HE MAYOR of Baltimore has nine thousand applications for five hun- dred offices. When New York considers this thing it blushes for its sister city. +6 VHY WILLIAM HANSON drank poison—Once lived here,” is a large heading in the Elmira Gazette. Surely William must have had more cause for regret than that. ‘THE EFFORT of Mrs, Lease to steal Jerry Simpson's seat in the house payed * Vankee Boodle. looks very like a hold-up. She will not only rob him of his good name, but, to prevent retaliation in word or action, will choke him to death. WO YOUNG WOMEN of Webster, Iowa, who recently horsewhipped their pastor for preaching against a certain ball which they had at- tended have given the gentleman a new topic. He will condemn horse- whipping now. CLEMENT SCOTT, whose wholesale denunciation of the women of the stage produced a shock, has been rebuked so thoroughly that he is half inclined to call himself Great Scott with several exclamation-points. WE MUST have a great army and a greater navy so as to stop fil bustering and escape a war with Spain. The cost will be some- thing, but how much greater would be the cost of a whipping at the hands of our dreadful Spanish enemy. ‘THE CHARIVAR is called the skimmington in Sullivan county. It is as deadly under one name as the other, however; and it might be proved by the evidence of one of a recent skimmington party if he might be brought back to life for twenty minutes. ‘THE EDITOR of a Missouri paper confesses to dyspepsia as a result of too much roast shoat at a recent festival. Probably the general reader will recall the occurrence. It was feared at one time during the festival tha: the rash man would go the entire animal. MORE APPROPRIATE. O'GRapY—"' Th’ b'ys wint simply woild whin th’ band ‘O'HaGAN—"" Vez mane * Yankee Doodle.’ O'Grapy—"* Boodle, ye fool vintion av Oirish office-seekers?" N.b.—The artist has attempted te follow the prevailing fad for deco vative drawing tn the foregoing picture. A WILD FROLIC. MANY PERSONS greatly enjoyed the demonstrations of a pretty kitten over her first snow-storm in a street in this town the other day. The snow fell in large flakes, and the little thing set out to catch most of them. She caught a few with the most frantic efforts, and her look of surprise as they melted in her successful paw was very funny, PARDONABLE, A SUGGESTION by the president that the starving Cubans be helped has offended Spain still more. We do hope that Mr. McKinley will be more careful; but let Spain reflect that, after all, he can't resurrect any dead insurgents or non-combatants, and one may have a moiety of sym- pathy with suffering without endangering one’s stern and rock-bound neu- tality. THE JOY OF MISERY. DR. TALMAGE has looked into geology a little, and, uniting his knowledge with the scriptural information that this world is to be burned at some time not accurately fixed for the event, exclaims, “Oh, I am so glad that geology has been born!” Of such queer stuff is some joy made. The good doctor, after that, ought to be able to laugh at his own funeral. EVIL FOR GOOD. THE CLERGYMAN who returned a cheque from Tammany hall for the poor of his church wrote an explanatory note in which he referred to Tammany in the most insulting words at his command. Perhaps he was right, but the poor who were thus robbed of fifty dollars may not think so; and if all money were to be returned because of the filthy avenues through which all money goes all of us might starve to death. And, after all, is courtesy a lost art? THE COD MUST STAY. EVERY SEAL needs ten pounds of fish a day in order to live and keep its health, and it is declared that the Alaskan coast would become the greatest cod-fish- ery in the world should the seal be exter- minated in that quarter. Better the cod than the seal. The latter is a source of great domestic misery at least once a year, and is beyond the financial reach of the poor; while ten pounds of fish a day would suffice for the largest family many times over. Itis settled, The seal must go. TWO QUESTIONS, ss\WHAT HAS CHINA DONE,” asks Wu Ting-Fang, the Chi- nese minister at Washington, “that she should be parceled out among the pow- boodle. Wasn't it a con- ers? Why do they not partition Turkey ?” Why, China has permitted herself to get whipped. That is fatal. She has harmed nobody because she wants peace and is a nation of cowards. That invites aggressiveness and rapacity, that kind of meanness being safe. But the question as to Turkey is a puzzler. She ‘ought to be dismembered before there is time to answer it. THE OVERPOWERING TECHNICALITY. HE JOKES that are passed upon the case of Mr. Durrang, murderer of two girls, are not funny. They remind us that the greater the villainy the more the safety of its perpetrator; and that the power of alaw- yer to break the law in behalf of criminals and at the expense of the tax- payer has become a great crime and one that brings contempt upon all law and all courts. These things make riots and invite lynchings. And what a world of sympathy for villainy, what criminal forgetfulness of the mur- dered, they inevitably suggest. A WAR TO COME, T DOES ONE GOOD to read in the Democratic press of the rival ambitions of the president and Speaker Reed; how one proposes and the other will do the exact opposite, and how this smokeless war will run into the preliminary part of the campaign of nineteen hundred. It does seem to be a long lookout to some faint possibilities, and yet we have no doubt there were predecessors to the creation who predicted more than was to occur; and again has not the president blood in his eye, is there not blood in the spots of the sun, and doesn’t the speaker wear a red necktie? comicbooks.com