Judge — January 22, 1898 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SCRIBERS. UNITED STATES 4x0 CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year, of 52 numbers - $5.00 One copy. six months, or 26 numbers > 2.50 ‘One copy, for thirteen weeks = => 135, including the Cunistsas Juo FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —To alt Soreign countries in the posta ‘ ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BUILDING) Corner Fifth Aveaue and Sixteenth Street, New York. jekly in the €W-Circulation larger than any other cartoon “. EB™ NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Jvoce are protected by copyright in ‘both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. $1,000.00 wit! be given to the contestant in JUDGE’S prize- puzzle competitions who Is the first to solve correctly every one of the puzzles in three successive contests. WE LEARN from a preacher of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, that it is also wrong to wear beards. Thus we find again how superior the universal woman is to the other sex. ET US ADD to the suggestion of Judge Northrup of Syracuse, that convicts be obliged to wear no distinctive garb, the provision that they shall appear only in dress-suits in the evening. you CAN GRAFT tomato-plants on potato-stalks and raise crops at both ends of the same. Same thing with populism, which takes in every kind of craze and reproduces it with great profusion. |F THE PENSION. LIST is increased during the. next five years as it has been during the last thirty the government will go TWO KINDS OF KICKING. THE GIRLS of a town in Illinois will play foot-ball, They will practice in short dresses and play in bloomers. The society and the church of the town are up in arms against this masculinity; but the girls will probably have their way until they have murdered each other to the last girl. For, of course, having decided to play the manly game, they will play it only as men do. TOO SEVERE THOUGHT. DAUGHTER of Sorosis advises as a relief from mental strain the reading of Mr, Howells, while. another daughter suggests foot-ball Still another daughter shrieks “Seek equilibriums!" whatever that may be. Thus the effort of this heavenly body to relieve mental strain has brought about a state of chaos that is more melancholy than the original trouble and promises large additions to the asylums. TWO VILLAINS. HE SHOOTING OF RUIZ, peace commissioner from Blanco to Aran- guren, at first glance looks like the assassination of a bearer of the white flag; but the commissioner who has instructions to bribe is meaner than any spy, and knows, as Ruiz said of himself, that he is going to his own death There was great villainy in Weyler as governor-general; but his admiration of duplicity may oblige him to call his successor his lord and master. THE WOMAN AND THE CLUB. THE PROPOSITION of a reverend lady that women be admitted to the police force is not so bad, We notice that about half the arrests of burglars are due to women, and in Chicago the other day a twelve- year-old girl collared a footpad and marched him to the police-sta- tion. Then, too, a pret- ty policewoman can inveigle any suscepti- ble man into any wrong-doing; so that there may easily be more crime as well as more arrests and more consequent glory. OUR BAD, BAD BOY. bankrupt. through its debt of gratitude and wonder what else it ter yer Day.” was ever saved for. Daisy (reproach fully)—"' Ab-h, J. ee Fano Jack (self-reproach fully) " D!avonp props two aces in a game yesterday an’ didn’t shoot th’ co} ornament the ears of the pet cat of a woman of St. Louis; and to-morrow we shall hear of a Chicago cat that has diamond rings on her four legs'and a couple on her charming tail. AN INFRING ck!" ‘THE DECISION of a Pennsylvania judge that a woman need not swear to her age in open court is a concession to gallantry rather than a contribution to justice; though, to be sure, women never did understand arithmetic in any of those cases. % A WOMAN pleads guilty to plagiarism, but explains that her mother read the original of the disputed matter to her when she was a child. The explanation is rational; but it would be far more convincing if she attributed the trouble to pre-natal complications. ° AN EXCHANGE says itis tired of the frequent pictures of Gladstone, with those of his near and distant relatives at various periods of their existence. But the exchange must admit that Gladstone has been neg- lected to some extent in behalf of Martin Thorn, Mrs. Nack, and our old friend Bismarck. Darel A EAW of Tennessee forbids flirting under a penalty of two hundred and fifty dollars. It is proposed:to punish only the men guilty of flirtation ; yet the. leading party in these proceedings is generally the per- son of the other sex, and the man is defenseless against her proffered and generally innocent attractions unless he happens to be a chump. — SS Faro Jack (who has been recently converted, to his stveetheart)—""I—I got a confession ter make THERE 1S a ques- tion among Chi- cago clergymen as to whether Colonel Inger- soll is insane. They MENT OF DUTY. T know I dun wrong, Daisy. T caught Jake Watts holdin’ out argue that a man of vote.” his power and éduca- tion must necessarily be insane if his information doesn't lead to the same conclusion from the same premises that theirs does. It is the argument of placid egotism, and a fine compliment to themselves it is; but if our best bad boy does repudiate. the higher orthodoxy it may at least be said of him that he preaches a great deal of first-rate religion. MEN WHO CAN’T SPELL, +*BAD SPELLING.” says a scientist, "is a disease.” It may be an inheritance also. It is not, however, necessarily evidence of-igno- rance, There are people without an ear for music, and there are’ those who have no ear for spelling. They may be thoroughly educated in other respects, and never be able to learn to spell correctly off-hand except as to words in constant use, and they may even have to relearn them every day. Let us remember that in many cases they are the victims not of ignorance but of an infirmity. CHURCH AND DANCE, ‘THE CLERGYMAN of Jersey city who proposes to teach dancing in his church has taken the first steps to abolish a great deal of unhap- piriess. Few persons are more forlorn than the children who, attending a party, are-unable.to take part in the festivities and must therefore remain glued to the wall in an agony of self-reproach and real or faricied humilia- tion, They have deserved no such torture and it is a great mistake, not to call it a crime, to force it upon them. And is dancing wrong? Well, relieve those suffering children and discuss the question afterward. comicbooks.com 4