Judge, 1897-12-18 · page 19 of 53
Judge — December 18, 1897 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Deserved Punishment"** depicts domestic violence played for laughs—an Irish couple where the wife beats her husband, justified because he took out life insurance in her favor (implying she'd benefit from his death). The satire targets both spousal abuse normalization and insurance fraud. **"The Drawing-Room Soldier"** is a short poem about a fashionable gentleman who appears refined but harbors military ambitions, playing on the contrast between peacetime pretense and martial impulses. **"The Boy of It"** jokes about a child wanting money to build a gallows "like they hang people on"—dark humor about childhood morbidness. **"Absent-Minded"** is a marital joke: Mr. Jones forgot to kiss his maid this morning and absentmindedly kissed his wife instead, implying infidelity. **"Christmas Table-Talk"** offers holiday dinner conversation where wine drinkers find the meal reminds them of "the late European war" because "there seems to be nothing but Turkey"—a play on carving turkey and political references to Ottoman/Turkish conflicts. The humor reflects Victorian-era sensibilities about domestic life, class, and propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Christmas Judge. DESERVED PUNISHMENT. Pustan (bitterly }—" Bate on, Norah! Bate on! Break ivery bone in me poor fool-body' Shure, an’ th’ man that takes an accidint policy out in favor ay his woife, whin thot woife ‘s bigger than himsilf, ought t’ be kilt intoirel THE DRAWING- vba ROOM SOLDIER. YOU never would suppose the beau Would think of war's alarms, Yet underneath the mistletoe There is the call to arms. THE BOY OF IT. Freddie—"\t you'll give me the money to buy the things, pa, I'll make my ‘own Christmas present.” Cobwigger—"What do you want to make, my boy?” Freddie—"Me and Bobbie wants to build a scaffold, with a drop and everything, like they hang —e— 4— people on.” APPRECIATED. Miss Hicucnurcn —** How did er 2 your Christmas-tree innovation go with ASE—An important fac: your Esquimaux parishioners 7” tor in an American ABSENT-MINDED. Missionarv—"' It was.a complete game called poker. Four pl THE MaiD—" You forgot to kiss me this success ; they even ate the candles. morning, Mr. Jones." Mk. JONES—" Dear me, how absent- minded I'm getting ! It must have b:-n my wife I kissed.” aces at certain crises are by many considered a direct intervention of Providence. CHRISTMAS TABLE-TALK. THE PINK LAMI—" This reminds me of the late European war." COP"NONT 1897 ay rat svoce PuBusNiNG COmPARY OF Rep wine ( in chorus)—* How 7" ‘Tue PINK LAMP—" There seems to be nothing but Turkey.” comicbooks.com