Judge — December 11, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

De p> 0 Ki \s Se ie In a few moments the obliging librarian returned with an arm- ful of genealogical records. “Oh, this is not what I want !” exclaimed the astonished vis- itor, laughing. webs.” “| meant the insect—the spider that makes cob- WHERE HE ERRED. Paxson Jonson — ‘* I jes’ stopped in a moment azo to see de widder Jackson. told her dat weeping would not bring her husband back, and * Mus. Persinatons (interrupting) —"* Wumph wanted hier to stop cryin’ yo" orter told her dat it would.” THE WRONG FAMILY. }) obtaining information in regard to the HAT mistakes will arise in even the best-regulated institutions is evidenced by the following amusing incident that oc- curred a few days ago in one of the largest libraries of New York. A visitor much interested in the habits of the tarantula asked the librarian if he could aid her in, spider family. «Spider family?” queried the librarian. “Could you tell me anything about the time of their settlement in this country ?” “ Well, no,” answered the visitor hes- itatingly, “I had supposed they had al- ways been here.” RETORT VINDICTIVE. TRramrina TreMaine—"* Look, ‘pardsy! Dere comes one o’ dem new chainless bikes.” GrowLInc Gruper—"Aw, w'ot of it? I don’t take no int'rist! It don't move me enny,” TRAMPING TREMAINE —" Naw! de on'y t'ing dat moves you any time is a chain. SOME PURE GALLIC ENGLISH. WHEN a Frenchman takes to writing English he always does it with picturesque effect, sometimes with poetic license. An amiable and ac- complished hotel-keeper in the metropolis thus in- troduces the attractions of his establishment and his own acknowledged merits to an appreciative public : “The issue of this pamphlet is more an expla- nation than an advertisement. When I had the hon- or, on the first day of May, to save the house from the hands of an auctioneer, and the malicious reports then in circulation that the house should be closed, and when everybody anticipated the downfall of this family hostelry, my hard work and experience made it to-day one of the best and comfortable hotels in the city. The names attached hereto, who pat- ronized the house for the last two years, is sufficient proof that this hotel caters only to the best class of people. The cuisine is entirely superintend- ed by me. There is no hotel man, steward, mana- ger or chef who has a better schooling than I have had. In commencing at the bottom of the ladder, with enough ambition, I raised myself to the top as a caterer, and any one who commands the best will find it at the house.” These are some of the things our amiable Boni. face promises, but there are others; for instance : “ The concerts which will be given from October first to June first will be rendered only by artists and soloists, sending forth sweet echoes of artistic music.” This beautiful composi- tion almost equals that of our present host's colleague who advertised that he kept “the most convenient and well fur- nished shady hotel in the neighborhood of New York.” It is needless to say that he alluded to the trees in the yard rather than to the char- acter of his establishment. PHILIP POINDEXTER. WHOSE FAULT? TILL, he’s “* generous to a fault,” Pleads the kind, indulgent tone. Comes the grudging answer, “* Ves, If the fault ‘s his own,” A BOX OF CIGARS. 6° THAT present Smithkins gave you, I hear, is just a joke; and your happy expectations all will end in smoke.” “That's right. Have one?” T found her quite unconsolable. 1 NATURALLY, Weep with our wit, dear reader, His nose is out’ of joint ; For he told a joke to a blind man Who could not see the point. Ef yo" comicbooks.com