Judge — November 13, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee. SHOULD SHE EXPECT THEM? SsYOU never bring me lovely flowers and candies as you used to when we were en- gaged,” pouted Mrs, McBride. “No, dear,” replied her husband. “I didn’t buy fifteen-dollar bonnets and fifty-dol- lar dresses for you then, though.” COULDN'T CALL IT HERESY. First parishioner—* The minister accused of scorching! How is that? He doesn’t ride a wheel.” Second parishioner—"\ know it; but some mean member of the congregation ac- cused him of preaching more than eight miles an hour.” MIGHT BE A NEGATIVE SUCCESS. Frienp—'*And what are you engaged on now, professor?” FLYING-MACHINE INVENTOR (mysteriously)—""Sh1 Tam now trying to invent a *falling-machine.’ ideas always seem to turn out exactly wrong, you know.” HIS LEFT-OVER PROPERTIES. . ____A SINECURE. : 7 a Weary WILL ** De milk-inspectors hev hired ol’ Slobsy Slocum ter test milk.” oe GOODNESS alive, children!" exclaimed the populist Sunset Sims. Is it hard work?” orator’s wife, who had been drawn to the garret Weary Wit Not very. Slobsy simply drinks a little out uv each can, an’ if dere’s lumber-room by an uproar from her offsprings; “ what is ®®0Y ater in it it puts him right inter convulsions. the mat—— Mary Ellen, stop playing with your pa’s old cross of gold. You'll scrape the gilt paint all off from it, and—— Gracious me! what is the matter with little Peffer?” “Oh, he’s sat down on pa’s crown of thorns,” replied Simpson, the five-year-old, “ and stuck the stickers in him.” “ SS AND SHE JUMPED AT THE CHANCE. ECONOMY IS WEALTH. Miss Younciy—"'So you've only known him a month? Don't you think The stingiest Hebrew in the trade you're taking a great many chances in marrying him?" Is Clothier Isaac Cohn ; Miss Otpwatte (candidly)—"* Dear me, no, It's the only chance I've had in For when he had his store-sign made ten years.” He killed two birds with one stone, comicbooks.com