Judge — November 13, 1897 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Tt is a funny thing, but in looking back over the long, long years the jokes that we once thought comic now appear to us sad, and the sorrows which nearly broke our youthful hearts now make us chuckle.— Washington Capital. Fools coast hills that angels fear to tread — You can’t always judge a man's speed by the make of his wheel.—Seorch and the world will scorch with you; mope and you'll fall behind. —Philadelphia Call. A bottle of Cook's Imperial Extra Dry Champagne with your dinner makes it complete, It pleases every one. Searcher for board—*1 hope, madam, you don't object to children?” Boarding house mistress—"" Oh, not in the least. I have nine myself." Weary searcher (backing off)—"* Um —er—if I decide to take, the rooms I will send you a postal. Good-day."—New York Weekly, “Doesn't your annoy you by asking questions at the base-ball game?" ** Never; she is one of these women who always like to let on that they know all about everything.”— Detroit Free Press, A willing horse is often overworked. So is the stomach. Abbott's Original Angostura Bitters give the much-needed lift. All grocers, cruggists, Every woman knows just enough about sta- tistics to prove to her husband that it is cheap er to board than to keep house.— he women do not believe that any woman's grief is sincere so long as the woman with a sorrow continues to frizz her bair.—The cheaper some men are the more prominent the position they try to secure in an audience addressed by a great man.—Many a man who has a pie appetite lacks a pie stomach,—Arkansaw Thomas Cat. “SHAMPOOING — is made delightfully refreshing, and a real luxury, by the use of Packer’s Tar Soap. Its known purity, excellent cleans- ing. invigorating and antiseptic prop- erties have secured for this soap the highest commendation of physicians and hair-dressers for cleansing and preserving the hair, and for use in treatment of dandruff and baldness. (OPIUM?! DRUNKENNE FSS. ed. DR. Jit. STEPHENS. io. THE CAMP FIRE, (If the “* Vampire” kicks, Kipliig can sue if he feels like it.) ‘A man there was and he wrote a pome (Even as you and I !) Of a drab and a jab and a Hindoo dome (It scared the critic away from home), For he painted his landscapes all in chrome, (Not as you and I !) Oh, the words he used and the oaths he used, ‘And the jungle junk he jawed ! The public never had heard it before (But they thought it was great and they howled for more), ‘And every one haw-hawed. ‘A man there was and he wrote and wrote (Even as you and I!) He got as perk as a yearling shoat (For rule and school he cared nary a groat) And every one studied his line to quote. (Even as you and I!) Ob, the toil we lost and the spoil we lost, ‘And the lovely plots we planned ! And the stuff that delighted his publisher's eye (Now we know that they never knew why) ‘That they did not understand, The man was sent by a pape to Greece (It wasn't you or I!) ‘At a dozen thou per month, if you please (lust to keep his inky pyjams in crease), And he sat in Crete to write his piece. (Not as you or I!) But it ain’t the work and it ain't the shirk That stings like the prickly heat. It's thinking of him and Steevie Crane (Ob, the crimson crash and the blood-red rain!) If they should ever meet ! —New York Press. Cr TOP NN BTR TS a PRUDENT IAL “ STRENGTH of GIBRALTAR Income SAL ART $14,158,445 sata4is Home Office: NEWARK, N. J. A TRIUMPH OF +--+ FINANCIAL PROGRESSION Send for information, THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE CO. OF AMERICA THE PRUDENTIAL Had for 1896 the Largest Increase in Income of Any Life Insurance Company in the United States cee | | Polictes ia, foros, Tamgrance in Claims Paid, 2.800, 0 $200, 000, 000 $28, 000,00 JOHN F. DRYDEN, President. Glass is now blown by machinery, and there is hope that in time political speeches may be made in that way.—Bos‘on Transcript, Mr. Croker says his “health will not permit him to consider the mayoralty of New York.” New York's health won't permit him to do so either.—Chicago Times-Herald. See our exhibit at the American Institute Fair, Madison Square Garden, now 9 Angostura Bitters, Eifel Tower fruit juices, White's jelly crystals. Call and see us at the fair. She—"' What's the matter, Bert? Did you have a fall?” He—" No; I started out across country with some anise-seed in'my pocket and | the hounds chased me seven miles." —Cornell Widow, We desire to put England on her guard, | Suppose the New York Journal takes a notion to send a reporter over to liberate Mrs, May i rochester Herald. there’s something good. Tt doesn't require the skill of a connoisseur to see why Evans’ is the ale to-day. . H EVANS & SONS, « Brewers, Malisvera, and Botlers, THE CELEBRATED SOHMER bonds the list of the highest grade {t is the favorite of the artists Bid the refined musical public. SOHMER & CO., Piano Manufacturers, 149 to 155 East 14th St., N. ¥. Ladies’ Furnishings. Paris Lingerie, Night Robes, Petticoats, Straight-front Corsets, Dressing Sacques, Eiderdown Wrappers. Broadooay A 196 &. NEW YORK, ee Smoke Standard Pittsburg Stogies 100 tn a box, postpaid, $1.50. THE R. & W. JENKINSON CO., PITTSBURG, PA." ‘Reverend Mr, Jingle is running his mls sion in regular vaudeville style. Had a pie- eating match there on Monday, and last night he offered a prize to the mother who would wash the greatest number of boys’ faces in the shortest time, It was a dead failure.” ** What was the trouble?” ‘* Couldn't get the boys.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer, A WILLGONVINCE THay OLDEN SCEPTRE IS PEREECTION ath ENS FoR Gaur PACKAGE ob 130,14b4e ue FREE ’ Sui sf iy xO ‘A better Cocktail at home than is served over any bar in the world MANHATTAN, = MARTINI WHISKEY, MOLLAND iD GIN, TOM GIN, VERMOUTH and york. Do not be wrongfully prejudiced against a bottled Cocktail until you have tried the “Club” brand, The principle is correct, the ingredients the best, and the resultisall that can be desired. Try them and satisfy yourself, ‘These Cocktails are made of absolutely pure and welt matured liquors and the mixing equal to the best cocktails served over any bar in the world. The proportions being ac- carate, they will always be found uniform. AVOD IMITATIONS generally, and on the Dining ‘of the principal railroads. “attiord, Coan. + W. London, , Eng. have any dlemish on, under the #810, conea nt Woodbury, y Hook and eainpl cluher Faia Soap or Facial Cream comicbooks.com