Judge — October 16, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

age A MISNOMER. E HEAR that the Topfiatts are liars and sneaks ; ‘That Thyrdflore won't come home till dawn ; ‘That Secondfloar’s cook wasn't paid for ten weeks, ‘And Smith's bank-account ‘s overdrawn. We've heard that the Bickers will get a divorce ; That Jones wears a wig and is bald. ‘These rumors all come from a similar source, And yet a dumb-waiter it's called. MCLAXDBURGH WILSON. NOT AN~ ACCIDENT. HE boy was sitting on the walk, crying bit- terly, “ How did it eee 7 bappen?” asked . fo. 4 sympathetic gentleman who ~~ * Yr chanced to be iu passing. “Itd-didn't,”” , ~ said the boy. Jel cee spa tone BOUGHT AND SOLD. ‘on purpose.” Why don’t you shoot?" Why don’t you?” jm afwald the gun kick.” | TH" toime thot fom tae old fllog sean bactine wneter loys fashtest CHoLLY—" Agweed.” has flown. A MELON-COLIC INCIDENT. ENGRAB—'* Whad maiks yo’ look so melon-colic?” *RasTus—" Dis ain’ no melon-colic—jes’ plain stummick-ache.” THE ANIMAL'S CHARACTER. JOHN COONRADT had bought a Jersey heifer of his next neighbor, and when he first went to the stable for milk for tea he limped back to the house with an injured air, leaving the milk fora sort of sinking fuind in the saw-dust. The heifer had resented the liberties he had taken. When he complained to his neighbor about the misinfor- | Sev 4 mation, and asked why he had said the heifer was true as steel and as kind as a kitten, sous tnenren =i Vel TIE the farmer answered, " She is as kind as a kitten, but it is an illustration of one of Sol- dota p Squirrels fer t¥0 omon's adages, * There is a difference in the breed of cats.’ ” CHOLLY (to Chappie)—'* Won't we make the folks open their eyes when we show the game we killed?” 3. ACQUAINTANCE—"* How did you fellows get AN APPETIZER. these squirrels?” Beccar—"'I hev a poor sick wife at home dat has no appetite. Could yer spare me a CHorus—** With ouah shot-guns, of course.” quarter ter git suthin’ ter give her an appetite?” ACQUAINTANCE—"* That's strange, considering Lapy—" Why, yes; but what are you going to get her?” the fact that each squirrel has a large bullet-hole in Beccar—"'I'm goin’ ter advertise an’ git her a job, Dere is nuthin’ like work ter give its head." a woman an appetite.” comicbooks.com.