Judge, 1897-09-25 · page 7 of 16
Judge — September 25, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical cartoons and comic pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"The Bald Man to the Fly"** is a lengthy poetic monologue mocking a bald man's frustration with a persistent fly landing on his head. It's pure absurdist humor—the bald head serves as the joke's target, with references to Biblical precedent (Elijah being mocked by children, then avenged by bears). **"Two's a Company"** satirizes pretentious literary culture, where one woman claims to be "carried away" by Browning readings, only to have another woman offer to read aloud—implying the first woman finds the second's company unwelcome. **"A Hindrance to Courtship"** jokes that a wealthy woman's seven-year-old brother constitutes a marital obstacle. **"His Regular Duty"** mocks politician Mr. Depew's routine: after handling business, his secretary's job is simply to read negative newspaper coverage and "deny it"—satirizing political spin. **"A Great Benefit"** ridicules women's patriotic societies as merely making patriotism "fashionable" rather than providing practical social good. The humor relies on wordplay, physical comedy, and social commentary typical of Edwardian-era satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE BALD MAN TO THE FLY. ¢ «THIS world is wide enough for thee and me.” So spake good Uncle Toby to a fly. ‘The world is nowise narrower since then. Yet we seem crowded in it—you and 1. With all that's open to you must you find My poor old head the one attractive spot ? Why else must you so ticklingly persist, In clinging here—all other spheres forgot ? Fain would I think that here within this poll Dwells there a spirit finer far than most. Uf as admiring pilgrim you had come You'd be a welcome guest, and I your host ; But, giddy thing. you come here but to skate— ‘To find a rink, as on some window-pane ; To make a sport of baldness and to buzz A taupting song above my tortured brain. TWO 'S A COMPANY. ‘Miss Bostonia—"* Yes, Pm always carried away when I hear Browning read.” Miss FLInTER—‘* Don’t you want me to read aloud a little?” Of old did children bald Elijah mock Until she-bears cut short their wicked joys. Beware! lest spiders grisly, grim and huge Should fall on thee, as hears upon those boys. Behold ! here's something that would lure a bee To leave sweet clover-heads, or lilies bright. How like molasses gleams its sugared plain ! You yield and cleave the air in lazy flight, Incautiously he wings his downward way To meet the fell y-paper's fatal snare, Aha! one foot is fast. Another! Four! His hundred eyes gleam with a wild despair. ‘Aye, buzz and whirl, and ery in vain for aid 1 Cleave, cling and perish, fiend of tickling feet ! He yields—he sinks. His voice is but a bum. Soon—all is over. Yes, revenge is sweet ! “TeDOR JuNKs, A HINDRANCE TO COURTSHIP Mr. Hilow—" \ hear that Miss Munn, whom you call upon so frequently, is quite wealthy in her own right.” Mr, Hudson—" So 1 hear.” Mr. Hilow—" Any incumbrances?” Mr. Hudson—*A seven-year-old brother.” —com—e—e— — 7?" ’TWAS SHE WHO WASN'T UP. T WAS Margie who said when she first saw a white-duck suit, “* Dwacious ! zere's a man zat isn’t up yet.” THE SEPARATION CAME SOON. HIS REGULAR DUTY. 4e]S THERE anything more that ve have to look into this morning?” asked Mr. Depew of his private secretary after disposing of several items of business. “No, sir.” “Then you may find out what the newspapers say about me to- day and deny it.” A GREAT BENEFIT. First daughter of the revolu- tion—" She says she'd like to know, for her part, what practical good our society does.” Second ditto—" Why, the mean thing! Just as if we hadn't made Reverend GAMeseUR—"* Befo' pronouncin’ yo’ man an’ wife, it almost fashionable to be patri- does yo' bof promise dat nuffin’ shall separate yo" till deaf will— otic,” V— this comicbooks.com