Judge — September 18, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sage WASN’T. “Maude, have you ever seen the chit dren's game in which one tells off a rigma- role and the other says ‘ Just like me’?” “Ob, dear, yes! Isn't it amusing?” “Very. Suppose we try it?” faltered John, * But you will be spokesman 2” “Very well,” stammered John, trying to appear serenely at his ease—a difficult thing to do with a very red face and a general feel- ing of debility. “Now you must say ‘Just like me” every time I pause.” “Yes,” said Maude. “Well, once upon a time, in an old me- dizval castle, there sat a lady and a knight. Both were young, and one was passing fair" “Just like me!” exclaimed Maude with a pretty little gulp. The gulp, not being on the programme, took John unawares. His memorized words fled, his mind became a blank; but, resolving to do or die, he went at it haphazard. “The knight was a good fellow—I mean an ordinary—sinner—that is, no worse than the rest of the—the human family; but he — A TEST CASE. “Say, boss, I've just bin a-listenin’ to a temperance lecture an’ I think it’s did me a heap uv good. Now I've got just ten cents in me pocket, an’ I want yer ter yur me out a glass uv water an’ a glass uv fust-rate whisky. I want ter see if I in resist temptation—an’ you'd better make th’ whisky a pitcherful.”” had a desperate malady, a mental impediment, which kept him from appearing to advantage when he most desired —in short, a self- tortured and most contemptible wretch "— “Just like me!" exclaimed Maude with saint-like resignation. “No, no!” cried John. “You paused,” pouted Maude. But 1 —you —how could Well, you must observe the seemed to have inherited the accu mulated chumpery of twenty gen- erations of raw-brained simpletons, at last spoke out like a man, told her she was the sweetest, dearest girl in all the world, and that he loved her to distraction—and she answered "— “Oh, Jawa!” ac savace, A QUESTION OF CUISINE. WIEN at barnstorming actors ‘The ribald audience pegs Stale eggs, say, are they serving A lot of hams with eggs? HER CHOICE, Enthusiastic cyclist (just alter ‘, a century run)—“TI tell you what, WHYA CERTAINLY, if [had to give up either I'd rather Mus. Granatt— Ther boarders air kickin’ "bout ther milk bein’ so blue.” ‘Rive up my wheel than my cyclom- FARMER GRABALL—" Tell ‘em ther caow won't eat nuthin’ ‘cept blue grass." eter.” rules or make a new code of by- laws," laughed Maude. “I'll for- give you this time, but avoid per- sonalities in future, please. Pro- ceed.” Poor John, looking like a di herited mourner at a funeral, placed his right heel on his left patent leather and mashed it beyond rec- cognition as a means of recalling his fleeting faculties. The knight—this knight of the long ago—loved the lady dearly, and thought—or had reason to think that she had sense—no, I mean discernment enough to know that she ought to love him "—— “Just like me,” said Maude demurely ; but if he could have seen that luscious wink to an imaginary audi- ence! “He revered the ground she trod on, and knew her heart to be as pure as the zeph- yrs that sigh through the realms of — of — of "— : "Bliss?" suggest- ed Maude. “Bliss. Thank you,” gasped John, re- applying the patent- leather treatment. And PROG FOND UREPLE TER: then, following a sud- ollow ine Mr. Froc—"I hope none of those fishermen will catch den inspiration, he you to-day.” : blurted out, “Thi Mr. Fist—" Oh, I'm too fly for their flies and too sharp IN THE LUNATIC-ASYLUM. taighetteets |. for their hooks. But you don't want to let that fellow with Ong LUNATIC (to another)—" Eh—what make wheel have you Knight, who was a nat- . the gun see y in your head ?” ural-born chump; who ‘Mx. FkoG—"" Ob, I'm not so green as I look.” comicbooks.co