Judge — August 21, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“BITTER” INDIGNATION. SSJILL it be the usual dose of malaria eradi« cator this morning, Uncle Jerry?” asked the Bucktown drug-clerk with a suggestive quiver of his business eyelid. drawled the old man as he stalked up to the counter; an’ yew kin put in an extry squirt o' ginshang bitters tew, fer I've suthin’ on my mind ‘sides this cap, b’gosh! Im mad!” “Some reflection on—er—your nose again by the boys up at the saloon?” adroitly asked the druggist. * Reflection—reflection! Wacal, I sh’d say so. One 0° them impident bikesickle chaps allowed it wuz a purty dark night out, an‘ ez he hed no bike-lantern would I mind jumpin’ on his tandem with him an’ reflectin’ his way hum? I tell yew it wuz an orful laff on me.” “It must have been,” said the druggist. “I suppose, of course, he made amends by ‘saying something’?* “No,” said the old man as he folded his arms behind him ; ‘an’ thar’s whar my mad cum in—his not ‘sayin’ anything’ arter sayin’ all he had said, b'gosh!" THE POINT OF VIEW. OUNG Mrs. Hilton stood by the open window with a curiously fixed though inattentive look on her pretty face. iy A friend in passing bowed, and, receiving no response from We Wy the motionless white figure with its ivy frame, shrugged her —_/ shoulders and remarked to her companion that Mrs. Hilton was studying effects, as usual. Once she started as with a sudden impulse to mount the sloping stair at the end of the hall; then her face drew on a veil of reserve, and she fled back panting to the window. _ There were steps descending the and young Mrs Hilton stopped bresthing. ‘The hall door opened and shut again, and young Mr. Hilton, as he passed the window, nodded a smile and blew back a kiss. A neighbor opposite, well trained to neglect through a score of married years, saw the parting and sighed. Another with sardonic indifference ob- served that young Mr. Hilton was very attentive to his young wife. But young Mrs. Hilton turned from the window with a sob in her throat and threw herself into a chair hig CO-OPERATIVE INVESTMENTS. Bisnop GooprxtLow—"* So half of Deacon Coldstream’s property was invest whisky distilleries, 1 should never have thought that of the deacon." Junce Bicrer—" But you forget that the other half was invested in Keeley cures.” A FOREIGNER’S INFERENCE. T IS not considered desirable to be happy in this country, I find,” said the intelligent foreigner who, had about mastered the language. “ What makes you say that?” “You have a proverb which speaks of the happiness of a clam at high tide.” “And you have another which ad- vises a man not to be a clam.” SCANTY COVERING. THE bathiog-girl must trly be An egotistic elf ; Because we know so often she Is wrapped up in herself. THE VERY TROUBLE. Doctor (to patient threatened with nervous prostration)—“ Do you notice that you are troubled with loss of memory?” with a foreboding of despair. It was. - JUVENILE DIVINATJON, x _ Patient (with visions of recent dis- the first time in their dear married life Cuorty (waiting for sister)—" My! T never had so much candy as that he had been content to leave her ‘hat when I was a lad. : Bonny—" h det si ahaa & aa at ihe se onny—"" | guess yer didn’t have a good-lookin’ sister wot took yer along.ter th’ grocer's, did yer?” KATHORINE. GROSJEAN. aster at card-table fresh ih mind)— “Loss of memory, doctor? No, sir; it's memory of my loss that gets me.” i i \ Ile ny aa BUSINESS EDUCATIONAL DIET. Vistror—"* You seem to have a great variety of fish on your table, Is there anything extraordinarily beneficial in the diet?” Congx—" Sure, sure! Mein frendt, didn’t you know dot fish vas a gread prain-foodt? | gommence mit dose shildiren on suggers und leadt ub to gold-fish, £0 dot dey got a quick edngation to ged into der shtore und handle anypody from a gountryman to a gold-vatch gustomer " comicbooks.com