Judge — August 21, 1897 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uae IN THE TOILS. to his country place. a fine place here.” “Yes, I flatter myself I have. think of that lawn? Oh, I do.” it all systematized. week on that lawt Plankington — have.” Von Blumer—* Haven't 1?” self?” Von Blumer —" Yes, sit. THOROUGH MORTIFICATION, No, 1. Mr. Soomurn—" Drat the luck ! There goes the car I've got to catch, and I've forgotten my false teeth. Never mind; I'll just whistle and stop— THE MAGIC OF DRUSILLA, A SMALL simoom at ev'ry turn— It's August in the sky. My eyes, dust-lacerated, burn, My throat ’s Sahara-dry. But one forgets the heat and thirst Where happy I may go To weed and woo, when woo I durst, What time the sun is low. For sweeter than an April wood Is that thrice-favored spot Which knows, when day has gone for good, Drusilla’s sprinkling-pot. The paths that gasping deserts were “Turn each an oasis With all the nectar in its air ‘That makes for summer bliss ; The lawn ‘s from parched and ghostly shapes Drenched back to emerald youth. Naught the reviving flood escapes (Not even I, forsooth !), And in the dripping, spicy box Is balm for all-day woes When—oh, the pleasant paradox !— Drusilla mans the hose. EDWAND W. BARNARD, No, 2. —(incensedly)— the — — luck! 1 "t whistle without having my false teeth too, because I was painting the house.” your own painting >” busy.” am.’ you a question. go any more.” interfering with my here.” ws FOR POSITION. * What horse did you bet on?” “No; for a place.” , YON BLUMER has invited Plankington out Plankington— Well, | must say you have Von Blumer (with well-suppressed pride)— What do you Three acres altogether.” Great! Who attends to it?” Must take up some time.” Oh, yes, some. Still I have T put in three hours twice a ice lot of flowers you Plankington—" Take care of them your- I spend a couple Plankington —" Do all Von Blumer—" Sure!" Planking ton—"You seem to be kept pretty Von Blumer—" Well, 1 Plankington —" Look here, old man; I want to ask When do you go in to the office?” Von Blumer —"1 don't Plankington —“ What! Don't go in to business ?” Von Blumer—"No. The fact is, 1 found that it was TOM MASSON. ONE REASON. Teacher —" Why is it that the inhabitants of the south are large and the Es- quimaux so very small?” Johnny—" Because heat expands and cold contracts.” SAD INDEED. Hayoras—"" Sad is my lot.” JavseeD—"* What's the matter?” Hayoras—"" I've got to cut the grass on it.” of hours a day on those plants. Keeps me in good condition, you see. I'd like to spend more, but I have quite a vegetable-garden to attend to.” Planking ton—* You have ?” Von Blumer—“\ should say so! Finest for miles around. Come out here and see kt. There! what do you think of that? Pease, beans, squash, onions, radishes, melons—everything, sir; everything.” Plankington—" Do you take care of this yourself?" Von Blumer—" You bet 1 do! Wouldn't trust it to any one else, Takes me three hours or so a day on that garden. Does me good. I need it.” Planking ton— Ot course. Any gas here?” Von Blumer—" Wouldn't have it. them myself.” Plankington—" Where do you get your meats ?” Von Blumer— Ob, about two miles up the road.” Planking ton—" Go to market yourself?” Von Blumer— Certainly; of course. Takes my mind up.” Plankington —“ True. Recreation, ch? Ha, ha! Doctor near?” Von Blumer—* Four miles away. Near enough; although I did spend nearly a day hunting for him last week. Took up time, Use lamps. Aways fill work MRS. MULLIGAN’S PRESENCE OF MIND. Mns. MULLIGAN—"'Shtop phwere yez be, Moike, till Oi tek th’ baby frum under yez !" comicbooks.com