Judge — August 21, 1897 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

from Eau Claire. There had been a heavy snow-fall the night previous, and the THE WORTH OF HIS MONEY. OLONEL SANDY EMERSON of Texas, a large-hearted old bachelor who owned half a dozen cattle-ranches down on the Brazos, came up north to visit relatives in Wisconsin a few seasons ago, and during his occupation of the north enjoyed him- self .as only a genuine Texas gentleman knows how. Be it known that Colonel Emerson. occasionally goes on a tootsy-wontsy-toot, and afterwards laments the affair in much the same way as the Kentucky gentleman who thought it “a shame that a pusson can get too much of a good thing, be gad, sah!” It was midwinter in Wisconsin before the visiting colonel in an exuberance of good feeling rounded up, one day, “too full for utter- ance,” figuratively speaking, and when that event occurred he was spending a few days in a prosperous little city not a thousand miles hy NO DOUBT OF IT. TRAMP (soliloguizing) —"*A man wot wears boots like them an’ has got a dog like colonel, with a good time in view, hired a horse and cutter for a that to foller up with is safe from casual wisitors, I should say !"" drive down town. The street was not well broken, so he took to the sidewalk and drove madly along, calling to pedestrians to get out of the way. Just as the colonel passed the city hall a policeman, addressing him pleasantly, coaxed the southern gentleman to allow him to get in with him. An assent was readily forthcoming and the officer climbed into the cutter, and before they had proceeded a block farther, still keep- ing to the sidewalk, the polite min- ion of the law had made it‘plain to the chivalrous colonel that he was violating a city ordinance, and had in this way persuaded the Texan to go before the mayor and pay for the fun. And so they drove back to the city hall, the policeman made the charge to the mayor, and his honor asked blandly, “ What is your name ?” VIOLENT ADMINISTRATION. Miss Frvre —'' Do I understand that you fare badly, as arule, at the hands of women?” Japen Jexnv—"* Ves. kind lady ; but it's frum de feet of men dat we expeeryance de roughest deals.” Pouiceman Grooc' arrist yez Oi moosht !” ORAM (the nurse.girl, surprizedly)—"* Phwat for ?” PoLicemaN Grooci Resisthin’ an officer.” THE LAW’S MIGHT. “Colonel Sandy Emerson, sab,” was the reply. “You are charged, Colonel Emerson, with driving on the side- walk. Is it true 2” “Yes, sah, egad, sab,” was the frank admission, much to his hon- or's surprise. “ Well,” said his honor, have to fine you.” “All right, sab, you" honab, sah, egad, sah! How much is it, sah?" “Fifteen dollars,” said his honor. The colonel drew out his ple- thoric pocket-book, selected a filty- dollar bill, handed it to the mayor, and remarked, “Keep it, sah! Nevah min’ the change, sah. I'm goin’ to drive back on the othah side of the street, sah !" The mayor laughingly con- sented to the arrangement and in- structed the policeman to clear the sidewalk, that. the large - hearted ranchman from the Brazos might get the worth of his money. NOY PAREELL GHEENE. —*' Be afther givin’ me a swate kiss at wanst, or it's AN INTELLECTUAL TOY. THERE is a lovely Boston toy That now is quite the go; It makes the little girl with joy And sunshine overflow, It makes her dance and skip about Until all Beacon hill Can hear her merrimental shout While dancing with a will. Away with kangaroo and cow, With picture-book away, And with the woolly white bow-wow With which no more she'll play. For, toying with each golden tress Beneath her parasol, She kisses with a sweet caress Her pretty thinking doll. RK, MUNKETTRICK, WE HAVE NOTICED IT. . *PAINT,” says Margie, “ ‘ticks better to a dwess zan it does to a board.” ~ {* When Greek meets Greek then comes the tug of She'd The let rionth yo in, It'se When knowing she will b is someth if your fre by those s A father i ing he is contradict wrong.— Angost American in this cot vine, preg One sayin And we s Kut when They have By reas in every dining-cai an up-to- mond Ex phia, Buf attention is so suce high Val trains—N Toronto ; the west. ment, ves and. parle gas, mod. to the Bla scriptive | senger ag The rv dear Mr. ter?" 7 so bad th Just abor is on the comicbooks.com