Judge — August 7, 1897 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge HAY-FEVER. AY, thar, neighbor—hay, thar! Say! Naow’'s th’ time fer makin’ hay. Whet yer scythes en’ whet yer sickle ; Whet “em fer th’ grass tew tickle ; Whet ‘em fer tew make a nickle— Hay, thar, neighbor—hay ! Hay, thar, neighbor—hay, thar! Say! Git yer mowin’ under way. Hayin’ fairly makes me bristle. Watch me slice thet cussid thistle ; Arter thet Ill wet my whistle, Hay. thar, neighbor—hay ! Hay, thar, neighbor—hay, thar! Say! While th’ sun shines make yer hay. Rubes an’ jays an’ gold-brick buyers, Victims o' them city liars, Hustle hard, fer rain is nigh us— ETIQUETTE. Hay, thar, neighbors—hay! w, x. coox. MontAto DUNN (insanely jealous)—* Look, Horace, look! She encourages his advances, Let me get at him and his heart's SCRIPTURAL INJUNCTIONS. blood shall flow." ae 9 Horace Murpny (restraining him)—'* Nay, nay, Montalbo! ¢*BRUDDER JOHNSING.” remarked Parson Jackson covetously, “dat’s a This is not the As ‘Blood spilling. Walt until the lady re- powabful fine watahmillion yo" totin’.”” ‘ tires.” “"Deed it am, pabson.” replied the deacon. “ But remembah de scriptuahs— ‘Thou shalt not covet.’”” ‘ “I does remembah,” sadly answered the parson; “ but I also recalls de verses, ‘De Lawd loveth a cheerful gibah,’ an’ ‘He dat gibeth toc de poah lendeth toe de Lawd.’ Brudder Johnsing, I's a powahful poah man.” “Dat's true, pahson; z but de bible says dat de Lawd helps dem dat helps demselbes. Dat's de way I got dis watahmillion. Cunnel Ryestraw ‘s got a IN A BOSTON SUNDAY-SCHOOL. ++ NOW, Edward Everett Sumner, will you please state your conception of heaven?” replied the young scholar solemnly, “a place on the order of our great public library, with inferior orna- mentations,” TRUE MUSICAL fine patch ob millions.” BUi ¥ : rif 4 INSTINCT. WALTER CHAMP. ™ . y y Reilly—* Couplings Z Ni | Q is a fireman with a true WOMAN'S WAY. oe y , WHF te} musical instinct.” Ted—" She said her McCarthy—"\ didn't age was twenty-two. know he had any talent in What do you think of that line.” that?” Retlly—" Well, he Ned—"1 should call has, When the music- it an age of deception.” store burned yesterday & ‘Sy iy Couplings played on six THREE CHARGES. it pianos all at once.”” Judge —* What are v7 the charges against this i KINDRED EMPLOY- man?" if is poe —" There = MENTS: aren inne yee Rone? COULDN'T PROMISE IMPOSSIBILITIES. 6s] AM a pharmacist,” aban ER—""T sells yo" dat mew! fo" ten dollahs an’ guarantees him not toe kick yo'."” I 4 shoutin’, hootin’ Buver—"‘An' ef he do will yo" oblergate yo'se'f toe taik him back at dat price?” said one communi- lerin’.” but Ab'll oblergate mahse'f toe gib yo'ah widdah de money back.” —_cative stranger to another after the conversation in the smoking-car had become easy and unconstrained. “So?” replied the other with a smile as of one recognizing a fel- low-handicraftsman, “I am a farm-assistant myself.” canta Sia LOOKED FOR BUT UNDESIRED. “* Wrot yer doin’, Weary, wid de tellerscope?” Weany—" Lookin’ fer work.” RaGGLes—"* Lookin’ fer work? Wot fer?" Weary—"' So's I kin avoid it. I wuz jest sizin’ up de houses round here ter DOMESTIC SIMILARITY, see ef I cant strike wun dat keeps a gaserline-can instid uy a wood-pile.”” He takes a good deal after his father. comicbooks.com