Judge — August 7, 1897 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— 2 hel ( mi iT a ny —7 F IMAGINARY GENEROSITY. Mr CONFIDENTIAL, Es, 'maclown! Well, then! What of it? You want the fun—I'm not above it, By dint of local quip and jest 1 lure dull care away to rest. Just size me up! Ain't Tan ape? ‘There's laughter in my very shape. My bosom thrills with many blows, But they don't hurt—it's stuffed, you know. So bring your wives and bring your daughters To laugh at me; I need your quarters. You blow them in to get good cheer ; I part with mine for beans and beer. Adieu, kind friends! Tl ring the curtain, I've jollied you enough. that’s cer- tain, DON'T Diaive iveryting thr doctor says; shure, many th’ hilthy mon would be aloive this day if he wasn't did. A MASTERPIECE. Bisiior Gooprettow— ** So you think John Gotrox’s will is a masterpiece of legal ingenuity and acumen, do you ?° | JUDGE SHARPLEY—"* Sir, I drew it ; and T will stake my reputation upon that will's lasting in the courts as long as the property does.” Pat—* Oi'm thot thirsty thot if Oi hod a bucket av beer, shure Oi'd dhrink th’ whole av it, barrin’ th’ sup Oi'd lave fer yez, Moike.” Faith, an’ Oi'd think yez cud afford to lave me th’ half av it, seein’ there’s no chance of yez hovin’ thot same bucketful, Pat." NOT EXACTLY. SS VELL.” said Mr. Poindexter to Mr. Clingstone, as the latter got off the train on his return from Washington, “are you the appointee?” “No; | am the disappointee,” replied the office-seeker. COULDN'T FIND WORK IN HIS LINE, Tramp — Every one’s hand is raised agin m Woman ‘o, ma’am, | _can’t get no work. “What business did you follow before you came to this state?” Tramp —"\ was a professional bomb- thrower.” WHERE HE BE- LONGED. ADVERTIS his hobb } sented a patent-medicine | concern. ! ‘That particular even- ing he drifted into the hotel in a condition of aggravated high lonesomeness, staggered up to the functionary in command and indicated a desire to be sheltered. “Any choice of rooms ?” inquired the clerk, with a view to comforting his woozy guest ‘The promoter of testimonial publicity coveted a good room, but his professional vocabulary was the only one at command, and he murmured, “Lemme have top col’m nex’ pure readin'-matter ; pure readin’ on bo’ shides ; pure readin’ above; pure readin’ followin’ fon local page; four locals san‘wished “mong pershn'ls.” he went on, an’ gimme lowesh rates minush agensh c’mish’n.”” He got a room on the top floor, facing the skylight shaft. MONTHS, “* Weary 's gone to work.” “Who said $07" “The judge ” FRANK J, STILLMAN, comicbooks.com