Judge — August 7, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uage. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE. One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.0 One copy, siz months, or 26 numoers - 2.56 One copy, for thirteen weens = = 1.35 Including the Cumtstwas Juocs. FOREIGN SUBSCKIPTIO; Sorcign countries im the postal ‘a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupcr BuILpING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (AT Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. (27 NOTICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- ght in both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted. WE SUSPECT that the weather at this season is ruled by Abdul Humid. Dont THROW one of Cleveland's advisory letters at an ox unless you want beef. eee THE LATE MR. JOB annexed a good many boils, and he swore that they did him miore harm than good. THE KAISER says this government has become a menace to the mon- archies of Europe. We have often thought of that. cee RS. LEASE has abandoned free silver and taken up socialism. You never know how to take that woman, and if you did you'd be sorry for it. WHITELAW REID was so pleased with his reception by the queen that he offered her majesty the Tribune at a greatly reduced price. eee D° REID AND HAY consider it consistent and appropriate to celebrate the declaration of {nde- pendence by throwing bouquets to England and the queen? ++ POPULISTS,” says a speech- making pop.,“‘let us gird up our loins so as to go forth with clear heads.” Is this man right in his location of the populistic intel- lect? eee A MURDERER is angry because a friend betrayed him to the law. It does seem base; but perhaps something might be said as to the betrayal of the murderer's victim to the death, grabbed Dick Croker Weary WiLLiE— bot’ hands. wae THE GOVERNOR of Tennessee and the governor of Georgia each has a lady colonel on his staff, and each colonel is unhappy because she can’t rank the other with the title of general. THe WOMAN inspector of elections who is under arrest in Denver for doctoring returns is undoubtedly an intense admirer of her own convictions, and thinks that if men won't adopt them they must not be permitted to have their way. A LAUNDRYMAN in Philadelphia writes to the JUDGE that sometimes a laundry turns out collars, cuffs and shirts that are not ruined. He writes intelligently, but—is he in the habit of telling things like that? We do not say he is insane, but the only other conclusion reflects with great severity on his regard for truth. see THE PRESBYTERIANS of Burlington, New Jersey, decide that pro- miscuous kissing is demoralizing and cut “copenhagen” out of their Sunday-school picnics, We have long thought that that game should be confined strictly to the young, and that no scholar or other person should be permitted to play it after the age of thirty-eight. A PRECAUTIONARY MANCEUVRE, ‘ SANDY SHUFFLER (reading)}—"* Gosh! de prince uv Wales rushed over an’ y W'ot yer tink uv dat?” * Oh, dat wuz on'y perlite caution. free Croker ‘d hev swiped his di’mond stud on him.” THE POSTERITY OF WEALTH. THE FAMILY of Barney Barnato will increase and multiply till it reaches the enormity of that of Anneke Jans. Happy is the pauper. for nobody confesses to his kind of blood, and none of his alleged posterity are going to be hanged. YOUTH AND REVELRY. HE LESSON of the bacchantes is that revelry is not necessarily im- proper; but when they are out in the cold without any clothes on they are scarcely fit for the society of the schools, and create impressions which might as well be skipped. THE QUESTION SOLVED. THE WIDOW who gave a young man eight thousand dollars as a wedding-present, one thousand of it to pay for his wedding-tour, taken all alone by himself, has set a fine example. We are sure there are too few women of her kind; and perhaps this answers the much-agitated question as to why more men do not marry. A BAD OVERSIGHT. OHN RUSSELL YOUNG will undoubtedly manage the congressional library satisfactorily, with the aid of Mr. Spofford, who has had the first place over thirty years and says he prefers the second position; but the civil-service law is badly fractured because his appointment was not made by and with the advice and consent of the Evening Post. SHALL ARBITRATION BE COMPULSORY? RBITRATION is the unavoidable road to peace as between capital and labor. If it isn’t resorted to before force is tried it must be adopted after the unnecessary mur- dering. No matter which side whips in this kind of war, arbitration must precede resumption. There- fore the remark, “There is nothing to arbitrate,” though there is a strike, is not only untrue but cruel and unjust. A CURE FOR FOOL- ISHNESS, PAISM IS HURT by the mar- riage of Joseph Batch of To- ledo, a leading know-nothing, to a pretty girl of the Catholic church. There never was a better «ure for that kind of idiocy; but Batch, of course, will be openly and privately traduced and tabooed in the precise way he was wont to treat others who respected their affections, wor- shiped as they chose, and were pos- sessed of a little common sense. SOME UNITED POISONS. THE PROPOSITION of T. Wat- son that the populists join hands with the new know-nothing society doesn’t go far enough. There is a fine association of horse-thieves in the west that ought to be cultivated, and again there is an organization of vigilantes that might be taken in to swell the number of Mr. Watson's nondescripts, always pro- vided that the conventions of the united vagabonds be under the control of the police, and perhaps of the regular army. PULPIT PREJUDICE. ssMISERABLE CREATURES" says an Irish clergyman of girls who wear bloomers and ride bicycles; and he advises the ruffians of his town to duck them whenever and wherever they can be caught. This is the judgment and authority of malicious ignorance. It is the same kind of prejudice that induces scoundrels with trucks to run down young women and male cripples. There ought to be horse-ponds for others than the wearers of bloomers, whether they are in the pulpit or out of it, If he'd left one hand BIG-HEAD TYRANNY. HE WOMEN of Jamestown, Kansas, were elected to every office in that small place, and, not satisfied with that, immediately smashed the only local saloon, with all its soft as well as its hard drinks, Then most of them got hysterics, and as there wasn’t one identical remedy left for that state of things their sufferings were great, though richly deserved. To-day the entire male population of the town are going about roaring with rage, and it is thought that the women officials will not be permitted to serve out half their terms. comicbooks.com