Judge — June 26, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mudge A COMMENCEMENT DILEMMA, She—" What is your thesis to be about, Mr Senior? Mine—we girls all have essays, of course— begins ‘ Standing to-day on life's threshold’ and ends ‘old things have passed away.’ Some girls say just ‘standing on life's threshold’ and leave out ‘to-day.’ That's what they call being concise, and that certainly is very fashion- able. But ‘to-day’ seems to make it more realistic, don’t you know; and realism, I think, is even more modish than terseness. Give me a man’s opinion on it, I love great, strong, Fitzsimmonsy kinds of thoughts. I'd rather be intellectual than anything in the world—except engaged.” He (gallantly) — “1 am sure anything you say will be the very latest thing and as deep as can be.”” She—" Do you really think so? Such a compliment from a man with a muscle like yours makes me feel proud enough. I suppose—just between us—that I am a wee, little, tiny bit deep. Why, our Polly Con. class learned everything about the silver question and the tariff, and all those things that great bearded men like papa have been studying for years, in just three weeks. One of our very youngest members can remember yet everything the whole McKinley family— nieces and all—wore to the inaugural ball; but then, she is our valedictorian. Yes; and we are all through with the Armenian question and Cuba and Crete, with nothing left to do except get samples for our gowns. I don't see how we women are ever going to be kept in reforms when we begin to vote, we work so fast.”” He—"f you look as pretty reforming as you do talking about it I shall be glad to give all my time to hunting up subjects for you. So long as you don’t attack love and marriage I don’t care, because you know, dear" She (alter a pause)—* Well, now, of course I have consented to marry you, Dick; but you mustn't imagine for an instant that, when you die, Ishall marry a second time. We girls believe in preserving our independence. Why, I've written loads of papers for our college magazine about the matrimonial trammels and all that He (kissing her)—" Well, never mind; I'll for- AT THE CLUB. Dorson—"* Jones hasn't been around to the club for two weeks. what the matter is?” Honso Why, his folks are all away at the seaside, and he can rest just ay well at home.’ OBJECTION SUSTAINED. +4 MY DEAR,” said Mr. Goldsborough to his daughter,"‘I wish you would tell me what your objection is to Mr. Sterling.” “ Well, papa, for one thing his name is John, and "—— “Surely that is no objection. My name is Jobn, but your mother mar- Wonder “A WOMAN AT THE BOTTOM OF IT." A DENIAL, The Windy-hill boys have just remarked that the Snake-prairie boys are quarrelsome, and the Snake-prairie boys are denying the charge. give you. So have I for ours, Oh, there! if I won't have to change my thesis all over now. There's a great lot of that stuff in that.” i She—" We've both been very pre- mature, Dick. People always wait till they're safely married before they begin railing against it. I have a bright idea, Just change the nouns in your sarcasms and let them stand for religion. It’s just as popular to make fun of that, and much safer.” VIOLETTE MALL COMPENSATION. Mr. Housckip —" Ugh! Zeh! this roast is simply dreadful. There is not a grain of salt anywhere in it.” Mrs. Housekip (trem- bling)—" Is itso, dear? Mary must have forgotten, But never mind, dear. Don’t you THEY bo. Mrs. Bentam—"* The doctor says that mother can’t live.” Benam—" Well, don’t be too hopeful about it. These doctors often make mistakes.” know there is always a rec- ompense? She has salted the baked beans three times.” SHOULDERED THE TROUBLES. Strange as it may seem to the reader, it is still true that when the head of the financial firm of Sapagetti was under a strain of carrying ‘too much paper” the faithful wife, by a little crooked work, straightened him out, comicbooks.com