Judge, 1897-06-26 · page 4 of 17
Judge — June 26, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis (Page 430) This page contains multiple satirical humor pieces typical of 1890s Judge magazine: **"A Greek Tragedy"** mocks a man who studies Greek intensely before marriage, then abandons his classics for wealth—yet remains ignorant ("It's all Greek to him"). **"At the Prison"** uses dialect humor: a prisoner blames his conviction on "unlucky number thirteen"—the twelve jurors plus the judge made thirteen. **"A Wrong Diagnosis"** jokes that a pensive young man hasn't fallen in love, merely has tight shoes. **"Family Pride"** features "Aunt Clarindy," a formerly enslaved woman who stayed with her aristocratic employers through poverty. She refuses a wealthy family's invitation because she prefers her original mistress—sentiment presented as loyalty. **"An Eye-Opener"** quips that divorce (not marriage) reveals a man's true character. Additional pieces use racial dialect humor and offer cynical observations on capital punishment, marriage, and death. The page reflects period attitudes: racial caricature, class commentary, and domestic satire aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
vuape A GREEK TRAGEDY. THE midsight oil in college days He'd burn, Greek roots to seek. “That man," said he, “may conquer tongues Who conquers first the Greek.” He weds. Gets heirs. Still midnight oil He burns, but wealth 's his whim ; Dust-thick his classics now—and yet They are all Greek to him. A. MoYT. AT THE PRISON. Fair visitor —* Poor fellow! And what brought you here ?” Mike (the slugger)—" It wuz all becuz of dat unlucky number t'irteen, miss.” Fair visitor—" Indeed? Do tell me how!” Mike (the slugger) —** Well, you see, miss, dere wuz de jury, twelve, an’ de jedge made tirteen.” A WRONG DIAGNOSIS, Spudds —" Young Harkins seems very pensive to-night. Do you sup- pose that he has fallen in love ?” Spatts—“Ob, no. He is only se " 1897, by B. J. Fath, New York, JUDGE'S FAVORITES. GLADYS WALLIS. Good looks and grace, a disposition sunny, ‘And talent of the winsome-maiden kind, As rare as comforting—it would be funny {you should not for these a welcome find And so we hope, when he is joined by you, ‘That John will draw as ne'er before Joha Drew. Copyrig breaking in a pair of tight shoes." FAMILY PRIDE, UNT Clarindy had lived with a branch of the aristocratic Cyarter family since before the war, and had remained faithful to them through poverty and obscurity, A friend of the family pay- ing a visit to the house of some newly-rich and rap- idly-rising social aspirants was surprised to see Aunt indy open the door. “Why, auntie,” said the lady, “1 thought you would never leave your old mistress.” “No,” returned the negress, “I done thought » ; AN EYE-OPENER. Mrs Youncuuspanp —** You never really know a man until you are married to him.” _ Mks. Mucuwep—"* You don’t then ; you never really know a man until you are divorced from him and your friends come round and tell you lots of things you never even suspected ” A NON-RELIGIOUS FRENZY. Pawson Worries (pausing from his sermon)—"* 1 is pow'tul glad, mah bredren, dat conversion seems toe hab hold ob Brudder Wipps.” DEACON Hain (Acarsely)—"* Go easy, pahson ; dat hain’t con- version ! Dat's a June-bug got locked in rudder Wipps’s kinks.” CUMULATIVE. *efPjyO YOU think capital punish- ment a remedy for crime?” “Well, it might be if persisted in for several generations.” NOT LOST. Traveler (to the -driver on fording the river)—" Has any one ever been lost in this stream ?’ Driver—" No, sit! Sam Mason was drowned here last spring, but they found him again after looking for two weeks.” 1 never would; but I's tired of living with the Was-bys and thought I'd try the Is-bys for a little while.” FINALE. HEN doctors dis- agree who shall decide,” And final judgment give o'er quacks and fakirs, By whose decision can we all abide ?— ‘The undertaker’s ! we NO DOUBT. Wife (at one a. m.) —"I think I hear some- thing moving around down stairs.” Husband (wearily) — * Must be the gas-meter.” IN TIME, . Jim, she's promised ter marry me at last.” hen?” Jest eighteen years from to-day.” dey finds a man froze dey puts him right inter a tub uy cold water ter Yaw bim out—t'ink uv dat!” A HORRIBLE REMEDY. Tired TomKins —"'I'd sooner be froze dan sunstruck, any day.” Turtie Duvvy—*' Yer don't know w'ot yer talkin’ ‘bout. W’en comicbooks.com