Judge — June 19, 1897 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. UNITED STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one vear. of s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks == 1.35 Including the Cnmistmas Juoce, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS —Te all Sorcign countries im the postal union, $0.00 ‘@ year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuncE BUILDING). Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (2 Circulation larger than any other cartoon weekly in the world. (7 NOTICE TO PURLISHE faght in both the United States and promptly and vigorously prosecuted, —The contents of Juoce are protected by copy- at Britain. Lofringement of this copyright will be CUBA MAY be pacified, but Jerry Simpson never. OSSIBLY Mr. Wanamaker would like to be the advance agent of prosperity himself. HE HUB will never be taken out of the universe, and Peffer will never desert the populists. GEVERAL CANNON having been stolen from a government post, a watch had better be set on the traditional hot stove. +e \AR. LEASE,” says Mrs. Lease, “has lived with me twenty-five years and seems to be satisfied.” Is—is he dead? CONSTANTINE apparently led his soldiers most effectively when they were on the retreat, and in every case he got there first. HERE MAY be a panic in the foreign money markets, for Hetty Green says her charming daughter shall never marry a titled foreigner. LET THE CANADIANS adopt prohibition, as they threaten, and there will be a powerful move- ment toward the United States in about five minutes. A SPANISH SENATOR at Mad- rid boxed the ears of another Spanish senator, and the body to which they belonged utterly refused to recognize either as a belligerent. wid its buds an’ birds an’ flo Weary WitLin—" Dat’ dat delightful debilitated feel YMAN in Brooklyn the other night called out to his congre- gation, “Hold up your chins.” We beg to correct the gentleman. ‘The quotation should have been, * Wipe off,” ete. A WRITER says he looks upon the German officers who led the Turks as hired assassins. Were they not? War is assassination, and those officers were paid to kill as many Christians as they could. T IS A PITY that young Mr. Logan didn’t take General McCook’s advice and wear his pajamas at the coronation, He would have been less ridiculous than he is now, and almost as conspicuous. THEY TALKED in the Presbyterian general assembly of “the over- throw of the machine.” It was a great mistake on the part of Brother Platt not to attend the session and sing a sweet, harmonious song. eee RICHARD CROKER permitted the prince of Wales to shake his hand the other day, and about the same time Mr. Fitzsimmons gave a reception in honor of the senators at Washington. The American noble- man is never haughty and proud. eee MB: DEBS proposes to lead an army of the unemployed into Uta, form a co-operative, socialistic community, and inaugurate what he calls a peaceful revolution. There is one excellent thing about this movement We refer to the fact that it is not coming this way. CHIEF ATTRACTION. FLowery Fietps—"‘Ab, Bill, Talus like ter see spring kum aroun’ agin, rs an’ gentle zephers an’ faint perfumes an’"— ht, pard; but de very gives a feller—ain't it A FIGHTING GOVERNOR. GOVERNOR BLACK is a good fighter, and his public documents are refreshingly vigorous and thoughtful. It is not his habit to attack the enemy on the flank. If the latter had horns he would find the same in the governor’s hands; but as he hasn't he is in great danger of losing his scalp. DEATH AND LOGIC, THE GOVERNOR of Kansas refuses to give corn to the starving peo- ple of India because it is the duty of England to take care of the sufferers. The force of this argument cannot be denied. Let us hope that the starving will feel it and go on with their dying as patiently as possible. THE AVARICE OF UNCLE SAM. WALTER WELLMAN says it is the policy of the president to urge the annexation of Cuba and Hawaii and to “go out to sea for an extension of our jurisdiction, our commerce and our empire.” “Give him all the world for a farm,” said Lorenzo Dow of an avaricious agriculturist, “and he will plead for a patch outside to plant potatoes in.” MOSES JOHNAMAKER. WE FEEL AUTHORIZED to say that if the Republican party must be broken up and the pieces put together for a new kind of organization, Mr. Johnamaker will be willing to go to the head of it and will manage it to the utmost of his ability; and all he will ask in return will be the presidency, a senatorship, or some other office of that altitude. A WIDE-SPREAD WANT. Patt! SAYS she cares nothing for applause; all she yearns for is a man in the wings who shall take her in his arms when she makes her exit and tell her she has done well. If she thinks there is anything curi- ous in that she is greatly mistaken. The only difference between her and the average actress is that she has the man and the latter hasn't. IS OFFICE-HOLDING A CRIME? 4eTTHE SPOILS OF OFFICE” is a pet mugwump term. Why “spoils” instead of “ salary"? Is President McKinley ashamed of his salary? Is it dishonorable for the members of his cabinet to draw theirs? “Is it humiliating to hold office or seek for it? Wouldn't it be better, on the whole, to abolish offices by way of removing a terri- ble temptation ? THE COMING ANGEL, MEMORIAL WINDOW has been removed from a Syracuse church because one of the angels omit is without wings. Here arises a new question as to orthodoxy that will presently create a theological cyclone. If wings are indispensable what must be their length, folded or in action; and shall the modes in wings be subject to changes four or five times a year? st ting about spring is CHAOS AND TRAGEDY. HE TWO SENATES of the Kentucky legislature, one for gold and the other for silver, are typical of the probable situation in the next Democratic national convention. Mr. Bryan says silver will rule that body, and the gold men are equally determined that they shall rule. The result will be chaos, if not bloodshed, The poor old party had better recon- struct its motto so that it may read, “ Divided we stand, united we fall.” MR. SCHURZ AND GOVERNOR BLACK. O NEWSPAPERS are more abusive than those of the mugwump press in criticism of men and measures that do not meet their ap- proval. It certainly was startling for our governor to allude to Mr. Schurz in an official document as a decrepit figure; but Mr. Schurz had previously insulted the governor to his face, and he would have been a spiritless per- son if he had not resented it. ‘The funny part of the matter is, however, the shock and surprise of the newspapers mentioned. They had previ- ously supposed they had a monopoly of the coarser kind of severity, and they wince as severely as if their own guns had been turned upon them. comicbooks.com