Judge — June 5, 1897 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APROPOS DE PARIS. F ALL who e’er have sung of love, Or told how valiant heroes strove, No tale than his more rare is Who sung of Helen's daring flight From Grecian home, in dead of night, Lured by the charms of Paris. And yet I wot the thing ‘s the same, And at the very self-same game More brave our modern fair is. For Paris went to Ilelen then ; Now, lured by Paris’ charms again, Our Helens go to Paris. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. a= Kilduff —" You don't mean to say that you charge two dol- lars and a half for putting a new cover on this book ?” Bookbinder—* That is the price.” Kildugf—" ou don't look like a China- man” . A METHODICAL ENTHUSIAST. Bookbinder—" Sit! Proppixc PotteR—"' Doc, ol’ boy, yer rite up ter date wid dem foot-ball pertecters, but yer weari Kilduf—" Wut you are a highbinder.” ‘em wrong.” Doc Waters—"* Wrong! W'ot's de matter wid yer? W'en a bull-dog cums down de ‘ rush-line* ain't dat de place he allers makes fer fer a ‘tackle’ ?” EASY. +] CAN always distinguish between this vin ordi- naire and red ink,” said the regular diner at the table dhéte. “ How?" asked the cas- ual customer. “By the label on the bottle,” said the regular with a fiendish grin, This shows the impor- tance of judicious advertis- ing. FAIRLY PITTED. Stonestreet—" What are Benedict and Scorcher howl- ing at each other about ?” SR VERY LIKELY, Macadam—" Oh, Bene- + The verdict should have read, to wit, dict 's got a baby and Scorch- ATTACHING THE BLAME, “Heart failure"; but ‘twas changed, er a new bicycle, Each is Mr. MAN—"t More hard luck, eh? What's become of that pair of shoes I youre confiding the merits of his ®*¥6,¥0U lately? ‘ . ‘The Boston jury rendered it cing Nervy Nucent—" Worse hard luck, boss. A companion uv mine dat I ** From cardiac deficiency.” acquisition to the other. roomed wid last got up afore I did one mornin’.” A PITIFUL CASE. +8 YOU are an orphan, you say?" said Mr. Spokes to an appli- cant for ai “Yes, sit “ How long have you been an orphan? “Lam an orphan by birth, sir.”" HIS EXPANSIVE SMILE, s¢TTHIS group resem- bles the picture of acave, What's the mat- ter with it?” “Well, you see there was a populist standing in front who had just heard of a bank-failure.”” HE HEARD IT, Uncle Josh (on a vis- it)—" Where are the chil- dren?” Mrs. Witherspoon— “Playing tennis in the garden.” Uncle Josh — How do you play tennis?” Mrs. Witherspoon— “With a racket, of course.” Uncle Josh—" That's so. I kin hear it now.” PAST FINDING OUT. He—" Have you seen “ MacPherson’s last book ?” She—" No. What is it—a novel?” He—"'Nobody knows. You see he made such a hit with the Scotch dialect in his other books that he has written this all in Scotch; so there's no IN THE WRONG ROOM. way of finding out what SNOOKS (overpoweringly full)—"* (Hic) why, I didn’t know T had gone to bed before I came in.” it is about.” comicbooks.com