Judge, 1897-05-29 · page 4 of 18
Judge — May 29, 1897 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page from Judge (a 19th-century American satirical magazine) contains several short humorous pieces: **"A Veteran Too"** is the longest piece—a sentimental poem about an old farm horse who, hearing military drums and bugles, recalls his Civil War service. The satire celebrates the horse's lingering military spirit despite age and lameness, with soldiers saluting him in tribute. This reflects post-Civil War nostalgia common in the era. **Shorter jokes** include marital humor ("A Cold Region," "Where He Kept the Jug"—depicting a temperance-advocate wife and her secretly drinking husband), editorial commentary ("Emphasized"—mocking a poet-editor who doesn't buy poems), and children's wit ("Proved"—a child explaining Jonah knew whale-duration by checking his watch). The cartoons are largely domestic and sentimental rather than overtly political. "A Veteran Too" appears to honor both human and animal sacrifice, while other pieces mock common Victorian social types: nagging wives, pretentious editors, and precocious children.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Copyright, 183, by Aime Dupont. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. le Pairs of Shoes, With Fanny Rice inside them, May well inspire the muse— ‘So do not try to hide them. Gomedienne of joy and spice, A COLD REGION, Mrs, Malaprop —" Yes, | was sorry to move out of that neighborhood. We all congealed so nicely there.” A FATAL CASE, Mr, Wallin—" Mt AT THE FRENCH BALL.” our name—a rhyme for nice. Siage A VETERAN TOO. H STOOD before the village store Unkempt and weary-eyed, His shabby harness here and there With bits of rope was tied ; His knees were stiff, his coat was long, A sorry sight indeed, The butt of many an idler's jest— The farmer's old gray steed. Across the hot and dusty square And up the narrow street Arose a burst of rolling drums ‘And bugles loud and sweet. He turned his head and pricked his cars And shook his tangled mane, As memory with its magic swelled His withered veins again. With every well-remembered note A vision on him grew Of trumpets with their crimson cords, And lines of men in blue. He seemed to see from far and near The marching squadrons come, And flung his broken harness off To curvet to the drum, For first upon a battle-field He heard the bugles blow, “Attention " in the dreary dawn ‘And * Charge” upon the foe, The soldier-heart was in him yet, ‘Though he was blind and lame, And many a whip had left its scar Upon his gallant frame. So every hand to every cap Went up in grave salute As all the veterans passed him by With flag and fife and flute ; And some were seen to drop a tear— Those bearded men in blue— A tribute to the old gray horse Who was a veteran too, EMPHASIZED. Port — “* That man we just passed is Editor Soanso, He is one of my most particular friend: Drrro —"* He must buy your poems."* “Oh, no; he never buys any. TIME ENOUGH, Insurance-agent —* Do you want the insurance for one or Port didn't 1?" three years? Isaacs —" Ex—von veek vill do.” is no use, doctor. 1 know my wife is in a very bad condition, You may try to cheer me up, but I have no hope of improvement. She is going down hill fast.” Doctor —** What makes you take such a hopeless view of the case?” Mr, Wallin— “Well, I've been get- ting the Sunday papers containing the adver- tisements for her to read, and even marked ith a blue pencil some of the bargains which I thought might inter- est her. And do you believe, she wouldn't look at one of ‘em!* EVER YOUNG, MAN bas seven ages, re his life is done ; But for lovely woman ‘There is only one. Mr. Hayi WHERE HE KEPT THE JUG. Mrs. HAVLY (a strict-temperance advocate)—"* Waal, land sakes, Joshua! w'y do yew go up thar so much, ennyway ?” y (who takes his nip on the sly) Mrs. Hayty—"" Waal, ef thet’s a fresh: be a pecooliar atmosphere ‘round thet chimbly. Jest ter git a leetle breath of fresh air, M’ria.” ir breath yew allus bring with yew from up thar, thar must I said most particular, Jos remarked, “All appointed time will 1 wait till my change come.” This would seem to indicate that ment- store was not entirely unknown to the ancients. Small girl did Jonah know that he was three days and three nights in the whale ?” Small boy (rejoic- ing in the possession of his first time-piece) —"He looked at his watch, of course.” + SV ILL you please litle Miss Citiman to the farmer, “ which are the cows that give the beef-tea?” CASH. the days of my modern depart PROVED. How tell me,” said “FIGURES THAT LIE,” comicbooks.com